Life — October 21, 1886 — page 4: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

THOUGHTS FROM THE POETS ON AUTUMN. LOGAN. EHOLD congenial autumn comes, The Sabbath of the year, Behold the clam is out of style, The oyster doth appear. LONGFELLOW. Gone are the birds that were our summer guests, Gone the white tile and polka dotted vests, Gone the pretty flower upon the grassy lawn, Everything is swallowed up in one relentless Gone. TENNYSON. In the fall the gobbling turkey, " Bout the barnyard proudly struts, Heedless that November murky Finds him cooked and stuffed with nuts. . . * FASHION item says that dresses will be “full” this year. The trouble with the opera costumes last year was that they were too full. . * . HY is it that many theatrical companies had to walk home this fall ? asks a contemporary. Probably because the cars were tied up by strikers. * . . I OBERT BUCHANAN is writing a poem onthe Charles- ton earthquake. It will doubtless be even more shaky than Robert's other poems. . . . 6“ Wat I never,” remarked Dumley, as he tried to bite through a muffin the other morning at breakfast. “What is the matter ? ” inquired the landlady. “ This bread is awful,” angrily replied Dumley. “Well, it's better bred than you are,” was the freezing response. The silence that came over the breakfast table was so deep | that it punched a hole in the cellar floor. * * * T HE man who recently patented an umbrella that nobody could steal has just failed. It was found that nobody would buy that kind, either. * . . LITERARY note says that the lady who wrote “In the Gloaming” made three thousand dollars out of it. If this is true we don’t see what induced her to get in it. HE earthquakes have given Charleston the shake at last. Congratulations are in order. * . . T takes two to make a bargain. Yes, it does. The bar- tender and the customer. . . . HE President intended to have Geronimo tried bya civil tribunal, but General Miles’ terms stand in the way. We are glad of it. Civil service for Geronimo is carrying the joke too far. *- . . HE rumor that Mr. Clinton Scollard is to be sued by the 7rzbune for calling his book of verses “ Reed and Lyre” is without foundation. A STUDY IN BLACK AND WHITE. . . . HE outcome of the Geronimo matter will probably be the hanging of General Miles and the reduction to the ranks of the Apache chief. | “PRERE was a terrific riot in a Chicago museum last week. The management advertised an invisible girl, and the cult- ured populace of the windy city waxed exceeding wroth | because they paid their admission fee and then couldn’t sce | the freak. * * . T HE candidate with a barrel is not the strongest with the | German voter. | It is the man with a keg that appeals to them. . * * HE Philadelphia Daily Mews office is on Chestnut Strect. With such a combination of street and city, what won- | der is it that our esteemed contemporary’s columns com- pletely overshadow ours in the matter of antique jocularity ? l George W. Me. comicbooks.com