Life — August 5, 1886 — page 13: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

> LI TAT SEISORS AT NLL am QU qT MISS EDITH SHOCKED THEM. ES,” said the parson at the tea table, “ Young Jordan was out driving with Miss Popinjay the other evening and his horse ran away. They were both thrown out and the buggy was smashed to pieces. It was a providential escape for both of them ; but I can’t understand how the young man came to lose control.” “He must have been driving with one hand,” flippantly sug- gested the minister's eldest son, a rake of a boy. “Or perhaps he had the reins around his neck, shy young beauty of 16, with a charmingly modest mien, then everybody exclaimed in chorus : ““Why, Edith !’"—Caméridge Chronicle, Epiror (measuredly): In making up the list showing the steady increase in our circulation, you had better add a hundred to each of the small towns. Clerk (obsequiously) : As you say, sir; but I think the increase had better be given to the large cities. We already claim a cir- culation of three copies to each family in the small towns.— Harper's Bazar. “cc said Edith, a And THERE is much discussion as to the propriety of putting ‘‘boodle” into the dictionary. As it would have to come under the head of B’s, and consequently after Alderman, and as it 1s well known that Alderman is always after ‘‘boodle,” it would, we think, look very much out of place.— Yonkers Statesman: FE: A SECTION of the American press has learned nothing in three years. It still heralds Matthew Arnold as the author of ‘‘ The Light of Asia.” As we remarked at the time of Mr. Arnold’s first visit, it is singular that the ubiquitous reporters should over- look the most important fact in the visiting Arnold’s career, namely, his attempt and failure to betray his comrades in the American revolutionary army.—Buffalo Express. A PHILADELPHIA editor says he ‘‘ violates no confidence ” in stating that when a band marched past the offices of the United States Legation in London on the Fourth of July playing “ Yankee Doodle,” Ed. Phelps asked a duke who happened to be standing “on the front steps what tune it was. It must be remembered, however, that Philadelphia editors never write under oath.— N.Y. World. IMPERVIOUS TO INJURY. _ERAVaLER (to ticket agent): Gimme a ticket to New Bruns- wick. Agent : The next train does n’t stop at New Brunswick. goes through that town at fifty miles an hour. Traveler: That suits me. I've umpired too many games of ball between the New Yorks and Chicagos to be afraid to get off a train that 's only jogging along at fifty miles an hour.—Zx. It THE polite child is the latest in the juvenile world. She was strolling around the neighborhood on a tour of observation when she came across a colored man sitting on a door-step. She stood with her finger in her mouth looking at him. Finally she sai “You're a colored man, ain't you?” ‘‘ You're a very polite lit- tle girl,” he said. ‘Yes I’m a colored man.” “Oh, yes, I'm very polite. Francisco Chronicle, I call every nigger I see a colored man.”—San 178 & 180 Fifth A Ne Nes COPYRIGHTED. CELEBRATED HATS LADIES’ ROUND HATS. and 181 Broadway, near Cortlandt St., Palmer House, Chicago. 914 Chestnut Street, Philadelphia. KRAKAUER, LADIES TAILOR, HABIT MAKER and HATTER Ap & Co oF 1g EAST 21ST STREET, NEW YORK, LONDON, ‘AND, BELLEVUE AVENUE, Newport, is pleased to announce that he has reopened his New- port branch for the season, where, by his personal su- pervision, it will be his # highest aim to. secure a continuance of lib- eral patronage, earned by produc- ve., bet. 22d & 23d Sts. w York, “No, I must have LUNDBORG'S. I have never been disappointed in any of those perfumes.” LUNDBORC’S PERFUMES, Edenia, Alpine Violet, Marechal Niel Rose, Lily of the Valley, LUNDBORQ’S RHENISH COLOGNE. 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Convent cloth will be much worn in the artistic in draping, while firm in texture. t twill, fine and beautiful, and will undoubtedly prove a favorite,—Delineator. WINES AND LIQUORS, Some of which we have owned ourselves THIRTY YEARS, AT MODERATE PRICES. Honest Madeira, $3.50 per gallon: good value, Sour Mash Whiskies, five Summers old, $4 per gallon, No other house can furnish Old Crow RYE. | NEW YORK, Wheat Baking Powder. SUPERIOR TO ALL IN WHOLESOMENESS. MARTIN KALBFLEISCH’S SONS, BROOKLYN, BUFFALO, CHICAGO.