Life — July 29, 1886 — page 7: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Dinckelagen by name, who in the absence of a jail con- trolled no patronage whatever, remonstrated with the Gov- ernor, asking him where he came in on the grand divvy, which so enraged Wouter that he suspended the Sheriff on the ground of offensive partisanship, and confiscated the pay due him for three years’ services. Van Dinckelagen appealed to his constituents and claimed his office under the Civil Service Act, in which he was sus- tained by the Old Amsterdam Chamber, and Van Twiller was removed, Wilhelm Kieft being appointed in his stead, . September 2, 1637. Van Twiller, when last seen on that day, was making off with the National Bank of New Amsterdam, and joined the VaN TWILLER DEPARTS WITH THE BANK. St. Lawrence Indians, remaining with them until the statute of limitations would allow him to return. When he finally came back, owing to the popularity of his beer, which business had been continued by his family during his absence, he was forgiven his sins, and in virtue of his ability in wearing a larger simultaneous wardrobe than any other man in town, he attained an enviable position in the social firmament of New Amsterdam. The newly-appointed Governor, William Kieft, reached New Amsterdam on board of the Herring, one of the strongest vessels in the Dutch Navy, in March, 1638. He was not looked upon with favor by the New Amster- damnables, because every second man in town regarded the appointment of Kieft in the light of a personal affront; and that many unpleasant gtories of the Governor's past life were circulated may be readily believed. It was reported, among other details, that upon one occa- sion Kieft, having failed in business, had compromised with ‘LIFE: his creditors for one hundred cents on the dollar, and the set- tlers reasoned that a man who could be guilty of so flagrant a degree of honesty could not fail to carry demoralization, into the lit- tle commu- nity. Inad- dition to this, Gov- ernor Kieft had been Envoy Ex- traordinary to Turkey, and there were rumors abroad that he had flirted scandalously with the Harem of the Sultan, and when remonstrated with, had added insult to injury by wearing his’ boots into church, Among such warm-blooded, affectionate husbands as the Dutch were known to be, and with their respect for reli- gious observances, as shown by their never venturing to divine service without fourteen pairs of socks on their feet, such doings could not find favor. He was an advocate of temperance in public, relied on his own judgment and invited an offensively partisan Frenchman to be his chief adviser. In short, Kieft did nothing to con- ciliate those over whose destinies he was called upon to pre- side. Gov. KIEFT WAS A SAD FLIRT. MY HATED RIVAL. HE takes his head upon her breast ; She kisses and caresses him ; She ’s all unhappy and oppressed If anything distresses him. She sings his praises to his face, Until he swells with vanity, But silent takes it with the grace Of insolent inanity. He is n’t witty, wise nor fair ; His voice is not melodious ; His manners are beyond compare— Comparisons are cdious. And yet I’d take his visage grim And clumsy form, and pay for it Right royally, to be like him— Thrice happy dog !—her favorite. James Feffrey Roche. comicbooks.com