Life — May 13, 1886 — page 5: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Wl. i THE HUSBAND TAMER. JROFESSOR GLEASON, the horse tamer, who has beén amusing the New York public for the last week or so by operating upon horses said to have pepper corns in their ears—by removing the pepper corns—has been outdone by Miss Professoress Henpeck, who is expected to hold forth very soon in the Women's Exchange. Miss Henpeck operates upon stubborn and recalcitrant bhusbands— husbands who are deaf to entreaties for Easter bonnets, and who leave no loose change in their vest pockets. Miss Henpeck hails from the great West, and her system has been put into use in nearly all of the great Western cities. It is very simple and effective, and commends itself at once to every reasonable and dutiful wife. A simple stout fish line is Miss Henpeck’s materiel, The husband who is opposed to spring bonnets is thus treated by this wonder- fal woman : The husband is brought into the sawdust arena carefully handcuffed; a strap is then buckled around the ankle of his right leg, and a leather belt or surcingle is adjusted about his waist and pulled very tight. An fron ring fastened to the belt serves as a fulcrum or pulley for the stout line, which is attached to the strap on the victim's ankle, and Miss Henpeck by pulling the line firmly is thus MISS MENPECK*S METHOD. enabled to draw the victim's right foot off the ground. Any one can then hold up a new spring bonnet with a marked price on it of $90. If the victim winces or refuses to purchase, he is driven thrice around the sawdust arena on one foot. On the second round he usually suc- cumbs and buys with cheerful alacrity. Should, however, the husband prove obdu- rate, he is cast some three or four times. This is accomplished in a most ingenious manner by Miss Henpeck, by means of a rope and pulley attached to his left leg. The hus- band finding his left leg drawn from under him, and that he really has no leg left to stand upon, usually succumbs ; Miss H. places her foot proudly on his neck, amid bursts of shrill feminine applause. Bonnets of various sizes and prices, from $100 upwards, are now shaken before him, and if he chooses the largest and highest in price his manacles and shackles are at once removed, and the band strikes up, ‘See, the Conquering Heroine Comes |” Some husbands are so far gone as to swear audibly at hats which obscure the view of the stage at a theatre. Miss Henpeck cures the most obstinate cases in from ten to twenty minutes, while the wife waits. She affirms that a husband once well broken never objects to millinery again of any kind. i Ws SSS Sy t ESS ASS Ny In the course of a long and varied experi- ence, Miss H. has broken in 8,29 obdurate husbands, and 7,923 objecting fathers. She has never had, as yet, a single lover under treatment. She states in her little pamphlet she sells (price only $2) that lovers usually are found to promise anything. Of the husbands, 4,250 objected to new bonnets; 523 to pin money; 1,071 to going with sufficient fre- quency to the theatre ; 864 to their wives rela- tions—particularly to mothers-in-law ; and the remainder to getting up to breakfast. Several of the worst cases were subdued by means of the “ Garroter Bridie,” an invention of Miss THE GARROTER GAG. Henpeck’s own. By means of this little de- vice the victim's head is thrown back and he is talked to for two hours by a strong-minded mother-in-law, hired especially for the oc- casion. comicbooks.com