Life — April 29, 1886 — page 12: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

250 stage-door) certain creatures, known as Atdwes. These crea- tures always wore full (#. ¢., tight), dress, had vioiets in their chiton-lapels and addressed notes to the members of the chorus. These notes were generally scented and the recipient | of such was generally disinclined to state who sent it. The Atdwes shared the honors of notoriety with the festive old maids whose bald heads were very conspicuous in the first - LIFE: row of the orchestra. We know nothing more of the Greek drama, except that the chorus-boys at the end of the season withdrew from public notice. They generally betook them- selves to the ‘Home for Aged, Lame, Blind and Infirm ;’ or if extraordinarily young and active, posed as models of Me- thusalem to the artists of the period.” Simpkins no longer attends Harvard University. THE TOURIST MOUNTAIN- SUNRISE COMPANY. HE market value of a sunrise is largely dependent on the surroundings. ‘As viewed from the window of a blind asy- lum its commercial value might be expressed as—o. As seen on the morning of a heavy rain, oo might represent the value. To the beauty seeker a sunrise on the Jersey flats is worth about seven cents. From this figure the scale rises from the foot hill to the mountain, at which latter point the fancy figures begin. A view of the sunrise at Mt. Washington costs the tourist $100; Pike's Peak, $250; and Mont Blanc (including first cabin passage and wines), $1,000, more or less. The Sun that shines on the classic Alps is probably the same one that beams on vulgar America; but, of course, Yankees must expect to pay more in Europe for the same thing. But, unfortunately, the worst feature of the | case is, not the high price, but rather the uncertainty of the sun, which, on the above mountain tops, is as unreliable as a prima donna ; and many atourist reaches the top only to meet disap- pointment — the coy Sun sending him a haze or a cloud which may be taken as the doctor’s certifi- cate for non-ap- pearance, In this, Man is more reliable than Nature. Man takes the tourist from his city haunt, places him in a parlor car, and whirls him to and up the mountain peak, without missing a connec- tion. There he turns his charge over to Nature —and then Nature often fails to carry out her share of the contract. She does not exhibit her Sun. Fancy the feelings of the broken-hearted tourist, as he retraces his way homeward, thinking of the money and time spent to no purpose. In future this evil will be remedied by The Tourist Mountain-Sunrise Co., which will have sub-solar stations on the peaks men- tioned, and furnish a thoroughly realistic suprise on all mornings when the original Sol fails to appear. A huge spherical balloon, weighted so that it will rise slowly and majestically ; and hav- ing a luminous face, similar to stage orbs, will appear over the brim of the peak at the sound of the Company’s sunrise gun, while a calcium will tint the crags and valleys with Aurora’s blush, realizing Shakespeare's idea : “‘Jocund day stands tiptoe on the misty mountain top.” After such a view the tourist may continue his journey, well content. Flammarion, referring tocertain planets that revolve around suns quite different from ours, say: What a variety of light with two suns, one red and the other green, or ove yellow and the other blue, must be experienced on a planet which revolves around one or the other; and what charming contrasts, and what magnificent alternations must arise from a red day and a green day (St. Patrick’s,—W. P.), succeeded in turn with a white day, and with darkness! What nature is there! What un- imaginable beauty clothes with unknown splendor those distant lands scattered in end- less space?" What is to hinder this sunrise organization, with its combinations of colored glass, in bringing all those sublime effects to the eye of the dweller on this sphere? ‘The roosting chickens in the foreground of the picture may not be de- ceived by this oleomarge- rine sun ; but the company has more faith in human na- ture. Wallace Peck. PRECOCIOUS. Lucy : TWO CUPS, THREE PLATES AND ONE SAUCER BROKE AND Guess 1 HAD BETTER CUT FOR HOME NO CAT IN THE HOUSE. AND SEND IN MY RESIGNATION BY MAIL. mussed up. know. “ student in the botany class, A NOISELEss Rap—A cloth one. HERE is a lesson in each flower,” sighed the tired OBEYING ORDERS. 66 IRE, 97,” said a busy hotel clerk to the new porter. Presently the porter returned looking very much “I fired him, sorr,” he said; “ but, begorra, for jist wan blissed moment I thought he had me. TENDER SENSIBILITIES. AIR MAID (in first-class carriage on English railway) : Oh, Charles, how could you. clawss luncheon bawskets. My whole luncheon is ruined, ye This is one of the second (She had been ruining the luncheon for a half hour before making the discovery.) A CLOTHES SHAVE—A ballet girl's costume. comicbooks.com