Life — April 8, 1886 — page 13: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

- LIFE: S the car reached Westville an old man, with a long, white beard, rose feebly from a corner seat and tottered toward Rees He was, however, stopped by the conductor, who said: “ Your fare, please.” “Tpaid my fare.” “When? I don’t remember it.” “Why, I paid you when I got on the car.” “Where did you get on ?” “* At Fair Haven.” “That won't do,” said the conductor; ‘‘when I ‘left Fair Haven there was only a little boy on the car.” ** Yes,” answered the old man, ‘'I know it, boy."—New Haven Morning News. I was that little “THAT's a queer name for a book,” remarked a young lady in a bookstore to Mr. Martin, ** What's that ?’’ he asked. “* Letters to Dead Authors.’ I wonder what it is?” “Well, I can't say, as I have n’t read it; but from its title I should say it was a request to the late Hugh Conway for more stories."— Washington Critic. Tue man who struck Billy Patterson is not dead. It is evi- dent that he bought the $18,000 peachblow vase and threw a brick at the Oregon.—Philadelphia Times, —_t 209 AMONG the advertisements in a German paper appeared the following : ‘‘ The gentleman who found a purse with money in the Blumenstrasse is requested to forward it to the address of the loser, as he is recognized.” A few days afterward the reply was inserted : ‘‘ The recognized gentleman who picked up a purse in the Blumenstrasse requests the loser to call at his house."—£Zx. HE stood by his cold hearthstone and pressed both hands to his throbbing temple while his glaring eye-balls rolled wildly. Poised in mid-air he saw a straw-colored dog with a blue tail ; coiled upon the table was a bow-legged snake with a crimson tongue, while from his slippers peered green turtles who wagged their horrid heads. ‘* Got 'em again,” groaned the victim, but it was not so. His wife had been to the Japanese village and had not returned empty-handed.—Soston Post. “ Wuy does a mustard plaster beat a kiss?" aid little Johnny Toddle to his sister. ‘* Because, you see, a kiss is simply bliss, While mustard plasters, do n’t you know, are blister.” - —Dansville Breere. Wuart with strikes and defaulting bankers and treasurers the lump in this country’s throat never gets a chance to subside.— Philadelphia Times, Fonp parents should not forget that a child can shoot a pistol as hard as anybody—especially a pistol that is unloaded.— Atlanta Constitution. Cuicaco rushed tumultuously to the “Black Crook” last week, while ‘‘Lobengrin” and ‘‘Faust” were sung to meager houses, We infer from this that Chicago is satisfied with its ears, and wishes to prolong its favorite studies in feet.— 7%e Sun. Henry Holt & Co., 29 West 23d Street, New York, HAVE JUST PUBLISHED: Same prices. NEW BINDING FOR “LIFE: IN MAROON AND GOLD, NOW READY. IKRAKAVER, $5 per vol. THE LIFE OF A PRIG. By One. (From the second English edition.) Unique black and scarlet cover. 16mo. $1.co. “An amusing sketch, ¢ ¢ ® The quality of sa- tire is not strained. From b's Anglican nursery to his Ozford career, from the University to the ex- riences of @ private tutorship, his evolution is umorously portrayed, and with no slight dramatic power." —London Saturday Review. * Smartly imagined and smartly written.” —Lon- don Athenaum. “Delightful © © © extremely clever."—Palt Malt Gazette. BUZ, Or, the Life and Adventures of a Honey Bee. By Mavnice Nori, Handsomely bound. Sq. t2mo. $1.00. This is science honey-coated for children, GOETHE’S POEMS. Translated by Commander Wm. Giason, U. S. Navy. (Library of Foreign Poetry.) $1.50. NEARLY READY: THE ROMANCE OF THE MOON, 16 pen and ink drawings by J. A. Mrrcuett, Edi- tor of Live. CELEB: 1} NLAD X (0 corres. TED HATS LADIES’ ROUND HATS. 178 & 180 Fifth Ave., and 181 Broadway, near Cortlandt St., New York. Palmer House, Chicago. 914 Chestnut Street, Philadelphia. LADIES’ TAILOR, HABIT MAKER and HATTER, 19 EAST 21ST STREET, NEW YORK, Newport and London Is now exhibiting the largest selection of Stufls and Fabrics, comprising the latest patterns from leading manafacturers in Europe — rersonatty SELECTED FOR MY SPEC- IALTY. Ladies who favor me with their patronage, can be assured that my establishment will, as heretofore, sustain’ ite reputation’ for taste, style and unsurpassed Forkmanship, The Larastin Riding, Trav- cling and Yachting Hats. A perfect fit guaran- teed, and every garment STRICTLY TAILOR MADR. bet, 22d & 23d Sts. Cavanagh, Sanford & Co., Merchant Tatlors ‘ and Importers, ppl 61 West 23d STREET, PRIESTLEY’S SILK WARP HENRIETTAS distinguished by their sofmess and beauty and regularity GY io They are made of the finest silk and best Australian ‘ool, and are the most thoroughly reliable goods in the market. Opposite Fifth Ave. Hotel, NEW YORK. Lundborg’s Perfume, Edenia. Lundborg’s Perfume, Maréchal Niel Rose. Lundborg’s Perfume, Alpine Violet. Lundborg’s Perfume, Lily of the Valley. Lundborg’s Rhenish Cologne. Gg THE PAJAMAS AND SHIRT UNDERWEAR. comicbooks.com