Life — March 11, 1886 — page 4: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

j FORWARD MARCH. ITH a ripping and roaring Old Boreas blows, And off of the clothes-lines He strippeth the hose. Our ears they are frozen Much stiffer than starch— A regular thing with The coming of MARCH. . * . HE wind last week attained a velocity of eighty-four miles an hour, This blowing record has never been beaten around this section barring, of course, the unparalleled feats of John L. Sullivan and ex-Benj. F. Butler. . * * IFE suggests to the twelve good men who are to try J. T. Holland for the murder of a confidence operator, that the only punishment that fits the crime is a statue in Central Park. Holland is as great a benefactor to the human race in his way as Robert Burns, Walter Scott or William Shakespeare. . . . RECENT addition to periodical literature is the Forum. It will probably seek out all the frivolities of the day and go Forum. AT THE OPERA. MONTGOMERY JONES IS NOT PRAYING. HE HAS ONLY PASTED A LIST OF BOX HOLDERS IN HIS HAT AND IS DECIDING WHOM HE WILL HONOR. HE new song entitled “ That bouquet I bought for a dollar,” promises to be a greater favorite with the ladies than “ Only a pansy blossom.” * * . BARGAIN. BARGAIN. GREAT REDUCTION TO SUBSCRIBERS ! On and after April ist the publishers of LIFE offer Special advantages to regular subscribers. A limited number of subscriptions may be had at this office for FIVE SILVER (79C.) DOLLARS. FIVE. SILVER (79C.) DOLLARS. FIVE SILVER (79C.) DOLLARS. Clear gain to patrons of $1.05. Apply early and avoid the rush. * . . HE more we think of it the more we pity those poor pillaged Britishers, so feelingly alluded to by Mr. W. S. Gilbert. There was the poverty-stricken Oscar Wilde, who came over with a few other emigrants shortly after Messrs. Gilbert and Sullivan had saturated us with a musical adver- tisement of his peculiarities. Mr. Wilde came here with nothing but his clothes and his hair. Of these the American pirate robbed him even to the last vestige of his pauperism. So thoroughly stripped of all he had was he that in self-de- fense he went home and got married, so that he should have some visible means of support and keep him from vagrancy. Then there was Henry Irving, absolutely pelted out of the land with seventy-nine cent dollars. Canon Farrar, too, went home loaded to the muzzle with depreciated American currency, which the pickpocket American public left in his trousers by mistake. Mrs. Langtry came among us, confiding her sweet presence to our care, and actually left a hundred thousand dollars’ worth of mortgages on New York realestate. Poor pillaged thing ! Matthew Arnold lost several carloads of sweetness and light to these American bandits without receiving any more adequate compensation than some fifty thousand dollars. As for Gilbert & Sullivan, whose operas have carried deso- lation into so many homes, they are the worst sufferers of all. It is said that Mr. Gilbert never received a penny from the elevated railroad patent, while Sullivan's request for a share of the Madison Square Garden receipts have always been treated with silent contempt. comicbooks.com