Life, 1886-02-25 · page 4 of 16
Life — February 25, 1886 — page 4: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
# Page 116 from Life Magazine - Analysis This page contains multiple satirical brief items typical of Life's format. Key references include: **"The Wily Alderman"** - A poem mocking a local politician seeking private retreat after questionable conduct, suggesting his "public station" was compromised. **Political commentary** addresses Mr. Garland's resignation (context unclear without additional information), the Earl of Fife and Gladstone regarding Irish policy, and currency issues. **"George Washington! Pah!"** - The lengthy closing piece mocks Americans' reverence for Washington, arguing his actual character was flawed—he was "inconsiderate enough to remove what was English"—and that modern children idealize an impossible standard. The page uses satirical wit to critique both local corruption and national mythmaking. Specific figures and dates require additional historical context to fully explain references.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
THE WILY ALDERMAN. OW the Alderman is seeking A retreat, Where there is no coplet sneaking On his beat ; For this bad investigation Shows he ’s bet his public station On a private speculation Rather neat. . . . HE World says that the resignation of Mr. Garland is merely a matter of speculation. It naturally would be, * . * HE Earl of Fife has given Mr. Gladstone notice that he ‘ll have to change his tune on the Irish question if he expects him to continue to toot for the G. O. M. . . . IN NEED OF CHANGE, HE dolar that 's coined in the Mint, Tra-la, Runs short of } of its “par.” Whom to trust the coin gives a hint, Tra-la, In pretty and legible print. Tra-la. But the trustee is rather too far; And that’s what we mean when we yell, with a squint, Oh, bother the dollar that ’s coined in the Mint, Tra-la-la-la-lala—Tra-la-lah, there, Mr. Evarts. Oh, bother the dollar that 's coined in the Mint. a . . HE rumor that T. DeW, Talmage and Sam Jones are to form a syndicate to write sensational sermons for weak-headed clergymen lacks confirmation. . . . UGUST NEAPOLELYOZKONSZIZAUKA, a Pole, took out a marriage license at Wilkesbarre, Pa., the other day. This gentleman should have his name set to music and sell it for a German opera. . * * I N early days there were no jails in Tulare County, Cali- fornia, and prisoners were secured by chaining them to trees. The horse-thieves were securely fastened from the highest limb. . * * E have received a slovenly-looking sheet entitled the Non- Unionist. If this is a sample of the non-union printers’ work, we agree with the time-honored chestnut: ‘The Union must and shall be preserved.” . . . T will be widely believed in New Yotk that the pretty American girl who has accepted Gumboil is much too good for his lordship. * * . R. GARLAND does not know whether he would rather be a rhinoceros with an iron-clad skin, or a kangaroo—“ those natural pockets are so handy!” . . . BSENCE makes the heart grow fonder, and it is doubt- less on this account that so many men spend most of their time away from home. . * * HERE is no more lovely sight than a mother-in-law in her own home. . . . RUTH goes naked, which is perhaps the true inward- ness of truth’s unpopularity in polite society. * * * X-SHERIFF DAVIDSON bids fair to retain some connection with Ludlow Street Jail. Probably as a guest. . . . 4 feats recurrence of Washington's birthday reminds us that Republics, if not ungrateful, have at least strong tendencies toward forgetfulness. A hundred years ago, before the novelty of having birth- days had worn off, George Washington was the idol of the American people, but to-day, alas ! He is known to fame chiefly as a gentleman who could n't lie, and therefore serves as a model to every child under six- teen years of age, who, because Mr. Washington was such an impossibly good person, hate him most heartily. By children between the ages of sixteen and thirty, the atlases of the world of Anglomania, he is remembered as the father of his country, and his taste in choosing any other country than England for adoption is severely criti- cised. With them he is first in peace, first in war and first in the hearts undoubtedly, but there have been so many subsequent warriors, peacemakers and heart tenants that it almost sprains the modern intellect to recall anything about him save that he was some hideous nightmare, who was in- considerate enough to remove what was English, you know, from our shores. George Washington! Pah! Long live George the Third | comicbooks.com