Life — February 11, 1886 — page 13: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

--LIFE- Ad SISGORS AT NvLLis ES,” sighed a recent widow, “we are very unfortunate. Poor John was out of work for along time, and when he obtained a good job he died.” ‘* What job did he get ?” she was asked. “He joined a circus and got $20.a week for putting his head in the lion’s mouth twice a day. That's all he had to do. It seems hard he should have died.” “What did he die of ?” ‘ The lion bit his head off."—£x. - STANDING ROOM ONLY, “ce “How did your lecture catch on at Sacramento?” asked Jenkyns, as he met Bibber, the temperance orator. “Immense, my dear fellow. Had to put out a sign, ‘Stand- ing room only.’’ “Indeed. You surprise me.” “*Yes ; but don’t give it away. Some one moved the benches out of the hall before I got there."—Cahifornia Maverick, DIPLOMACY IN THE SMITH. FAMILY, Mrs. Henpricks (to Mr. and Mrs. Smith, who always manage to drop in about dinner time): ‘t Now, you must stay to dinner, The bell will ring in a very few minutes, and—" Mr. Smith: ‘‘Oh, thanks, Mrs, Hendricks, but we could n’t 97 Mrs, Smith: ‘‘Oh, no indeed. You are very kind, Mrs. Hen- dricks, but I have left baby alone with the nurse, and—John, do you think the baby will—" Mr, Smith: ‘‘Oh, the baby is all right, Maria, but it looks a little like rain, and I think—er—perhaps we had better—”" Mrs. Smith: ‘I don’t mind the rain, We have an umbrella, and besides, I have n’t anything on that water would hurt, but I'm afraid it’s getting late, and I would n't like to put Mrs, Hendricks to any inconve—” Mrs. Hendricks (resignedly): ‘Oh, it will be no inconveni- ence.I assure you, Mrs. Smith" Mrs. Smith: “Are you quite sure? Well, what do you think. John, shall we—" Mr. Smith ; “* I‘ll—er—leave it all to you, Maria, just as you think best about—” Mrs. Smith: “ Well, then, we may as well stay; but really, Mrs, Hendricks, we ought not to.”"—Zx. SOCIETY IN NEW YORK. Mr. AuGustus BRazENnose : ‘‘ Will you dance a polka with me, Mrs. Chillinghurst ?” Mrs. Chillinghurst ; ‘‘ Thank you, I never dance polka,” Mr. Augustus Brazennose : ‘* Well, if you ever should want to dance a polka you'll know where to come."—Harper’s Bazar. whis- “WHAT a murderous-looking villain the prisoner I'd be pered an old lady, in a court-room, to her husband. afraid to get near him.” “Sh !” warned her husband, ‘‘ that ain't the prisoner, He ain’t been brought in yet.” “It ain't! Who is it, then?” Henry Holt & Co., ag WEST TWENTY-THIRD ST., NEW YORK, NEW BINDING FOR ‘LIFE: In Maroon and Gold, to be ready in a few ays. Same prices. $5 per vol. “It's the judge."—Zx. PUBLISH SATURDAY: One of the two remaining Posthumous Novels of HUGH CONWAY. A Cardinal Sin. Ry the late F. J. Farcus, 16mo, Leisure Hour Series, $1; Leisure Moment Series, 3o cts. OTHER WORKS BY THE SAME AUTHOR: Slings and Arrows, etc..30 cts. ‘A Family Affair pe Carriston's Gift, ete... Bound Together (tal: Dark Day: Called Bac! %* All of the above may be had ina style fit for the library, at $1 each in the Leisure Hour Series, Leisure Moment ries (Paper Covers.) CELEBRATED HATS AND LADIES’ ROUND HATS. 178 & 180 Fifth Ave., bet. 22d & 23d. Sts. and 181 Broadway, near Cortlandt St., New York. Palmer House, Chicago. 914 Chestnut Street, Philadelphia, LADIES TAILOR, HABIT MAKER ano HATTER, 19 EAsT 21st STREET, NEw york. London & Newport. Will, as last year, in order to keep! forte of skilled hands fully employed, MAKE ESPECIALLY LOW PRICES From date to February rsth next. N. B—AD “ats made at ced reduced “prices to be embraced - withia the above period. ALFRED T. CARROLL Tailor and Importer PRIESTLEY’S SILK WARP HENRIETTAS Are easily distinguished by their softness and beauty and regularity Yes They are made of the finest silk and best Australian ‘ool, and are the most thoroughly reliable goods in the market. 166 SIXTH AVE., TWO BLOCKS BELOW FOURTEENTH STREET, NEW YORK. Correct Styles, Exclusively the Finest. | Under Coleman House, ESTABLISUED 1854. THORLEY’S Floral Establishment, No. 1173 BROADWAY, Common SENSE BINDER FoR BINDINO “LIFE: Cheap, Strong and Durable, Will held 6 numbers. Mailed te any part of the United States for $x. NEW YORK. ! Address office of * LIFE,” 1155 Broapway, N.Y. comicbooks.com