Life — February 4, 1886 — page 13: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

- LIFE: AT Kc]CCo L Ad S-ISERS AT NvLLy NSWERS TO CORRESPONDENTS,—Jim Benson, Chi- cago, Ill: ‘*Can Texas Siftings tell me what is the rate of interest when distance lends enchantment to the view?” The enchantment that is lent to our view by the fact that sucha smart Aleck as you are lives over 1,000 miles distant is worth at least two per cent. a month, Paul F., Wilmington, Del.: ‘What can I do for a cat that kills chickens ?” You can do quite a number of things for a cat that kills chick- ens. Youcan kill the chickens for her yourself, or you can treat her as one of the family, or you can buy her an annuity, but we think you had better take her out to the wood shed and saw off her head. Benj. B. Dawson, Macon, Ga.; ‘Is land high in Texas? Is ,the State settling up fast ?” Some of it is, and some of it is not, In the western part it towers up to the height of 600 hundred feet above sea level, but down in some parts of eastern Texas it is pretty fat and low, kept dowm probably with the weight of the mortgages on it. In answer to your second question we can truthfully say that Texas is set- tling up very fast, but we cannot say as much for some of the inhabitants.— 7exas Siftings. THE MINSTREL’S FAITHFUL FRIEND, “* FATHER, what is a phenomenon ?” asked little {ety Mc- Swilligen, as he was looking over his spelling lesson last night. 83 “<A phenomenon, Johnny, is a man who never says ‘chestnut’ when you tell him a joke,” was the reply.—From the Pittsburg Chronicle. Telegraph. GERMAN BUREAUCRACY AND RED TAPE- THE widow of a German army officer went to the pension office for the purpose of drawing her pension. She presented the usual certificate of the mayor of her village to the effect that she was still alive. ‘This certificate is not right,” said the doctor. “What is the matter with it ?”” “ Because it bears the date of December 21st, but your pension was due December 15th.” “ What kind of a certificate do you want ?” ‘*We must have a certificate that you were alive on the 15th day of December. Of what use is this one that says you were alive on the 21st day of December—six days later?”°—Dutch Soke. “Sune 'em uppa?” said an Italian bootblack to Pat, just landed. “Phat ’s the charge ?” asked Pat, Five centa,”” Begorra," said Pat, as he seated himself in the chair, ‘it is a foine counthry, Ameriky, where a poor Oirishman can get his boots blacked by a gintlemon wid goold rings in his ears."—New York Sun, ANXIOUS TO HEAR IT ALL. ‘WHAT 's going on to-night ?” asked a countryman at the box office, ** Pantomime,” replied the ticket seller. ‘All right. Give mea seat as near the stage as you kin, as I am a leetle deef."—New York Times, Cavanagh, Sanford & Co., Merchant Tailors NEW BINDING FOR “LIFE: In Maroon and Gold, to be ready in a few jays. Same prices. $5 per vol. KIRAKAVER and Importers, 16 West 23d STREET, Opposite Fifth Ave. Hotel, NEW YORK. MAKERS OF SHIRT THE PAJAMAS AND. iC} CES) UNDERWEAR. ComMON SENSE BINDER FOR BINDING “LIFE: Cheap, Strong and Durable, Will hold 6 numbers, Mailed to any part of the United States for $x. Address office of “ LIFE.” 1155 Broapway, N.Y. Junuap & Co CELEBRATED HATS|mesugiiin: LADIES’ ROUND HATS. 178 & 180 Fifth Ave., bet. 22d & 23d Sts. and 181 Broadway, near Cortlandt St., New York, Palmer House, Chicago. 914 Chestnut Street, Philadelphia. LADIES TAILOR, HABIT MAKER AnD HATTER, 19 EAST aust ST., New york. London & Newport. MAKE ESPECIALLY LOW PRICES From date to Feb- raary tsth next. N.B. Al garmests deat “reduced ALFRED T. CARROLL Tailor and Importer PRIESTLEY’S SILK WARP HENRIETTAS Are easily distinguished by their softness and beauty and regularity of finish. They are made of the finest silk and dest Australian Wool, and are the most thoroughly reliable goods in the market. 166 SIXTH AVE., TWO BLOCKS BELOW FOURTEENTH STREET, NEW YORK. Correct Styles, Exclusively the Finest. Lundborg’s Perfume, Edenia. Lundborg’s Perfume, Maréchal Niel Rose, Lundborg’s Perfume, Alpine Violet. Lundborg’s Perfume, Lily of the Valley. Lundborg’s Rhenish Cologne. comicbooks.com