Life — January 21, 1886 — page 13: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

> LIFE: AT SEISSERS AT NVLLv METHUSELAH’S FAMILY NAME, OBBY: ‘‘ Ma, did n’t Methuselah have more ’n- one name Ma (reading): ‘Only one, of course. Now do n't bother me any more.” Bobby (after a long pause): ‘* Ma, can’t I ask you one more question?” Ma: “Yes, yes.” Bobby : ‘‘ Was Methuselah his first or last name ?°—Harper’s Basar. Jotty Younc’MAN (to total stranger): “Come in and take something. Let's all be happy. ‘Live and let live’ is my motto,” Total Stranger (frigidly) : ‘It is not mine, sir.” . Y. Me: ours? You amaze ne.” . S. (confidentially) : ‘I am an undertaker, my dear sir,"— Ex. TOO MUCH PROGRESS, COMMERCIAL TRAVELER (to Dakota grocer): ‘* Any thing else you think of ?” G : ‘I guess that’s all this time.” jal Traveler : ‘* How 's your stock of soap?” I've never kept it. You might add to the order a couple of boxes of soap for a sample, an’ I 'll see how it takes.” —Omnibus. . 55 Some time ago a little three-year-old, playing in the yard, came into the house and said to his mother: ‘* Mother, nothing with a tail to it.” His mother, being unable to under- stand him, followed the child into the yard, where the little fellow pointed to a snake which was gliding away through the grass, —St. Paul Pioneer Press, ° A MODEST DOCTOR. AN unfortunate woman was run over by a street car. A crowd gathered around the victim, After some delay a celebrated doc- tor, who enjoys a national reputation, cpaeared on the scene. It was too late. The poor woman was dead even before the doctor had arrived. “ Oh, doctor, if you had only comea little sooner,"’ said a voice in the crowd. ‘* Even if Thad come sooner, what more could I have done for her ?” replied the doctor, modestly, gazing at the placid features of the corpse.— Texas Siftings. WATCH-NIGHT. “ Ucu,” grunted old man Jenkins, about midnight of Decem- ber 31st, to his wife, as he turned uneasily in the bed, ‘‘ what’s that noise down in the parlor?” “Ob, nothing,” replied Mrs. J., ‘only Martha and her young man holding watch-night services.” *Wha—what ?” he grunted, sleepily. ‘t Watch-night services—watching the old year go out,” she explained. “Ugh, is that it? ‘Well, it seems to me that the old year has been going out every. night for the last six months,” and he turned his face to the wall and did n't say anything more in 1885. Mess. HENRY HOLT & CO. ag West 23d Street, New York HAVE JUST PUBLISHED NEW BINDING FOR *LIFE: In Maroon and Gold, to be ready in a few ays. . Same prices. $5 per vol. —Merchant Traveller. AFTER HIS KIND. A new novel of English Rural Life, with an American Hero, by Joun Covenrry, 16mo. Leisure Hour Series, $r. POPULAR GOVERNMENT. Four essays, I. Prospects of Popular Govern- ment. II, Nature of Democracy. III. Age of Progress, IV. Constitution of the United States, by Siz Henny Summer Marne. 8 vo., $2 75. ALEXANDER MACGREGOR'S SCHOOL FOR DANCING, 112 FIFTH AVENUE. Family Classes every day For Terms, &c., see Ci ALFRED T. CARROLL Tailor and Importer 166 SIXTH AVE., hour daily, 8. Om 6ol CELEBRATED HATS LADIES’ ROUND HATS. 178 & 180 Fifth Ave., bet. 22d & 23d Sts, and 181 Broadway, near Cortlandt St., New York. Palmer House, Chicago. 914 Chestnut Street, Philadelphia, | PRIESTLEY’S SILK Are easily distinguished Wiis They. are made of the finest si/k and best Australian ‘ool, and are\the most thoroughly reliable goods in the market. ~Lundborg’s Perfume, Edenia. LADIES TAILOR, HABIT MAKER axp HATTER, 19 EAST aist ST., Naw yor. London & Newport. wi, a ese ot: in order to Tings force ot skilled han: fully employed, MAKE. ESPECIALLY LOW PRICES Prom date to Feb- Tuary rsth next. ces to be em- ie See above period. WARP HENRIETTAS by their softness and and regularity Lundborg’s Perfume, Maréchal Niel Rose. Lundborg’s Perfume, Alpine Violet. Lundborg’s Perfume, Lily of the Valley. Lundborg’s Rhenish Cologne. TWO BLOCKS BELOW FOURTEENTH STREET, NEW YORK. Correct Styles, Exclusively the Finest. comicbooks.com