Life — January 14, 1886 — page 13: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

~LIFE:: PAT §ESORS AT Lis Servant ; ''She ’s engaged.” Student: ‘I know it. I’m what she's engaged to."—£x. A TOBACCONIST has a sign in his window, ‘‘ Our five-cent cigars can’t be beat.’’ We do not doubt it; we tried one; "twas a cabbage.—Ex. WHERE HE WAS STRUCK. Witness: Yes, sir; he struck me on the bridge— Lawyer (sharply interrupting): How is that? You said a while ago that he struck you on the balcony, Witness : So he did, sir. I''m telling you no lie. Lawyer: Did he strike you more than once ? Witness: Only once, sir. Begorra, I was quite satisfied, Lawyer: How, then, could he strike you on the bridge and on the balcony at the same time, and with one blow ? Witness: Anyhow, he did, sir. {ude (interfering): On what balcony? Witness ; The balcony of the hotel, your Honor. Judge: And on what bridge ? Witness: The bridge of my nose, sir. waited, I'd a told him,—PAiladelphia Call. On Tuesday morning Sam Lee walked into court at Easton and said he wanted to become a citizen of the United States. Sam was asked: ‘ Do you intend to return to China ?” and said, “ He no go back ; me Democlat."—AUentown (Penn.) Register. Had the spalpeen At Derinit1ion.—" Mother," said a little Rockland girl, looking up from her book, ‘what does transatlantic mean?” ‘Oh, across the Atlantic, of course. Don’t bother me, you made me forget my count.” “* Does trans always mean across?” ‘J suppose it does, If you don’t stop bothering me with your questions you "ll go to bed.” ‘ Then does transparent mean a cross parent?” Ten minutes later she was resting in her little couch.—Rockland Courier, An Eastern young man returned home a few days ago from a trip to Colorado for. his health, and in narrating his adventures he told about buying a silver mine for $3,000. ““T knew they''d rope you in !" exclaimed the old man. you were ass enough to buy a humbug mine.” Yes; but I didn’t lose anything. I formed a company and sold half the stock to a Connecticut man for $7,000.” “ Y-you did '” gasped the old man, as he turned white, “I'll bet I'm the one who bought it.” “I know you are," coolly observed the young man, as le crossed bis legs’ and tried to appear very much at home.— Alta California. ALL great men have their small vanities. We read the other day of a prominent San Francisco citizen, now abroad, who is inordinately vain of his scant knowledge of the French language. He illustrated it before a witty friend, who sends it home to America, They supped together, after the theatre, and the rich American summoned the waiter and addressed him with affected nonchalance : “Garcon ! Quelle heure est-il?” Waiter (politely): Je ne sais pas, Monsieur, mais je vous ferai savoir, Rich American : My God ! is it as late as all that?) We had better make for bed.— News-Letter, "So OBLIVION! An Episode in the Tennessee Mountains, by M. G. McClelland. 16mo, Leisure Hoar Series, $1. “ Though the great charm of the book wise. NEW BINDING FOR ‘LIFE: In Maroon and Gold, to be ready in a few IKQAKAVER days. Same prices. $5 per vol. | or witty, or tender touches, there is quite enough story to the plot to keep the reader in quivering suspense as well as delighted eujoyment.—The Critic. SUZETTE. A novel of Virginian Life in 1840, by M. S. Tiernan (author of * Homoselle"’). 16mo, illumi- nated cloth, 8r.25, LEISURE HOUR AND LEISURE MOMENT SERIES. “Ao IU-Regulated Mind,” by Katharine Wilde, % Slings and Arrows.”’ by Hugh Conway, $1 or es wws."’ by Hugh Conway, $1 or 3oc. “The Red Route,” by William Sime, $t or 35¢- ty Healey.” by Jeasie Fothergill $x or 3s “ At Bay,” by Mrs. Alexander, $1 or 3oc. “A Family Af_air,” by Hugh Conway, $2 oF 3oc. HENRY. HOLT & CO., N.Y. PUBLISHERS. {)t NEAP & Co er Ne PVRIGKTED. co CELEBRATED HATS LADIES’ ROUND HATS. 178 & 180 Fifth Ave., bet. 22d & 23d Sts. and 181 Broadway, near Cortlandt St., New York. Palmer House, Chicago, 914 Chestnut Street, Philadel; LADIES’ TAILOR, HABIT MAKER AnD HATTER, 19 EAST arst ST., NEW YORK. London & Newport LOW PRICES From date to February rgth next. N.B—All garments made eet oes ais iter Rin above period. ALFRED T. CARROLL Tailor and Importer PRIESTLEY’S SIL Are easily distinguished by their softness and beauty and regularity of finis he They are made of the finest silk and best Australian ‘ool, and are the most thoroughly reliable goods in the market. WARP HENRIETTAS 166 SIXTH AVE., TWO BLOCKS BELOW FOURTEENTH STREET, NEW YORK. Correct Styles, Exclusively the Finest. Lundborg’s Perfume, Edenia. Lundborg’s Perfume, Maréchal Niel Rose. Lundborg’s Perfume, Alpine Violet. Lundborg’s Perfume, Lily of the Valles. Lundborg’s Rhenish Cologne. comicbooks.com