Life — December 24, 1885 — page 4: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

THE MUGWUMP WAIL. HE man who worked the hardest, In damming perspiration In last July and August Now seeks his inspiration, Down in the cellar where the coal Is daily growing shorter, And d—ns his furnace coz it don’t Burn brightly as it oughter. Says he: “‘ These beastly Democrats Who run the weather beaury Don’t care a snap, now that they're in, And pile it on like fury. For full three months they made the sun So hot I''d fairly sizz, And now, begosh, for want of heat, The duffers let me frizz.” To Cleveland and his Ministers we send for mental fuel The old-time saying and remark : ‘ Consistency 's a juel.” ° . . LONDON correspondent states that the Soudan news is threatening. That's about all it ever amounted to anyhow, as far as England was concerned. . . . RS. SPRIGGINS is of the opinion that men should not overwork themselves, but should take a month's vo- cation at least every year. . * . HOSE who thoroughly understand the Roumelian difficulty say that a rising in the Yeast may be expected at any moment. * . . H UNTING The-baw is still popular among Englishmen. * . . ING MILAN is said to be anxious to dispose of a slightly damaged war at ten cents on the dollar. . . . A® extraordinary accident occurred in Yonkers last week. A young gentleman just in fun pointed and snapped an | unloaded revolver at his fiancée, and the weapon did not go off. This is the first time this has occurred since the war. A SYNDICATE of missing heirs has been formed to re- claim Harlem. The only hitch in the proceedings is in collecting enough money for this missionary purpose. The membership of ten thousand has been unable, so far, to gather more than seven dollars, three suspender buttons and a lead nickel. At this rate, when Harlem is finally re- claimed the dividend to each heir will be about three-eighths of an inch, . . . HEY are having considerable trouble in Kansas about the whiskey injunction. The whiskey injunction in this State seems to consist in tho expression, “ A little less water, please.” * . * YDROPHOBIA has broken out again with increased virulence in Texas. But then Texas always did manifest considerable timidity on the water question. . * . HE President and his Ministers went, the other day, to be photographed in a group. The cards were doubtless cabinet size. MICHIGAN man has sued the government for libel for sending him into the Senate as a “ Fourth Class Postmaster.” He says he's a first-class P.M. or nothing, and he wants the Administration to take notice. . . * R. COX is said to be anxious for a recall. Do n't those chestnuts go down with Abdul Azaint ? . * * HE ablest article we have seen in the Tribune for some years relates to New York's great fire of fifty years ago. We congratulate the 7rsbune not only upon the superb advertisement of the Zrsbune building contained therein, but also upon the contemporaneosity, as it were, of the article. The 7ribune is gradually catching up to the times. * * . | iO Rees maddest man around Washington to-day is he who attended the dead-letter sale and bought in his own ! application to the President for a Consulship. comicbooks.com