Life, 1885-12-17 · page 10 of 18
Life — December 17, 1885 — page 10: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
# Life Magazine Page 354: Analysis This page contains satirical humor typical of late-19th-century American Life magazine: **Top cartoon**: A young girl tells an older woman that her mother says marrying the new parson would be "a miracle"—implying the parson is so unattractive or unsuitable that such a union would be divinely impossible. The joke satirizes both romantic desperation and clergy. **"Definitions" section**: Sharp, cynical mock-definitions mock contemporary American society—politicians as "partisans" on a "see-saw," voting as restricted except in Rhode Island and Indian Territory (likely referencing voter suppression), Chicagoans as neurotic. These target political corruption and regional stereotypes of the era. **"Meat for Breakfast" sketch**: A butcher serves a lady who absurdly orders calves' liver for herself but refuses it for her dog Carlo, instead buying expensive Porterhouse steak for the animal—satirizing wealthy women's illogical priorities and pet-spoiling. **"Yes and No" poem**: Cynical verse about promises and honesty in relationships, suggesting words mean little and consequences are easily rationalized away. **Drama section**: Reviews the theatrical production "Hoodman Blind," comparing it unfavorably to similar contemporary plays.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
JENNY, DO YOU KNOW WHAT A MIRACLE IS? Yes'mM. MA SAYS IF YOU DON'T MARRY OUR NEW PARSON IT WILL BE A MIRACLE, DEFINITIONS. “ ALDHEAD."—A _ near-sighted worshiper of the balle “ Chestnut.” —A joke that another fellow worked off while you were manipulating its protoplasm. “ Bostonian.”"—Americanism for Irishman. Choctaw.) « Investigate." —To whitewash, cover up, excuse or ignore. “ Partisan.’—End-man on the political see-saw. « Jackstraws.”—A high-toned religious game, of Puritan origin. “Vote."—To cast a ballot; a common practice, freely exercised exerywhere except in Rhode Island and the Indian Territory. “ Chicagoan.” —A term applied toa man who walks the street as if he had a yellow-jacket in his trousers and were hunting a private place to get it out. “ Amateur.’—An-adept who keeps the whole of any par- ticular science, study, or art, shelved away in a small corner of his brain, with ample space for more. “ Ass."—An animal, with more or less legs, who considers you a fool. “« Sermon." —A soporific adjustment of platitudes. (Colloquial : MEAT FOR BREAKFAST. B JTCHER (to lady with dog in her arms): What will it be this evenin’, mum? Lady: Send a pound and a half of calves liver in time for breakfast, and—let me see, Carlo won't eat liver—and half a pound of Porterhouse steak. YES AND NO. ITTLE words and lightly spoken, Yes and No. Vows and pie-crusts have been broken Long ago. But a Yes that’s sweetly whispered Holds a rapture fit for gods ; If the falsehood follow later, What 's the odds? Even No is not a sorrow Past relief. You will find on some to-morrow That your beef Has a taste distinct from mutton ; Wine will warm you when you will; You enjoy® life’s salt and savor, Single still. What's the use, then, of despairing ? Every part Of a man will bear repairing. Broken heart ? If you can but gild the fracture, Who will ever look below ? Little words and lightly spoken, Yes and No. L.C. Maxwell, * Nothing personal. I N “ Hoodman Blind,” at Wallack’s Theatre, there are four acts, fourteen scenes, thirty characters and eight doors leading indirectly from the theatre to the outside world. This last item of information is neither immaterial nor irrelevant, as the lawyers say. The sentence which gave a name to the drama, and which is printed prominently upon the programmes supplied to the audience, is this: ‘ What devil was ’t that thus hath cozened you at Hoodman Blind.”"—Hamdlet, That is exactly what I asked myself after I had been wit- nessing the “ kaleidoscopic " drama for one hour and a half. I scribbled upon my programme in answer to this singularly appropriate Shakespearian query, “ Give it up,” and then en- deavored to lose myself in the thrilling situations presented. “Hoodman Blind” faintly resembles “ The Silver King” and “The Romany Rye,” but does not compare favorably with either. There is a murder in the first act, and as this comicbooks.com