Life — December 3, 1885 — page 4: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

SEASONABLE STANZAS. YE BOY. HE small boy with the level head Now joins on speculation The Sunday School that owns a tree, And sweet anticipation Leads him to work with awful zeal And wear his best apparel Without a marmur, practicing The latest Christmas carol. YE MAN. Now pater pays mysterious bills And bets his mortal life That ‘mongst the items there is hid His present from his wife. . . . “cc ACCINATION bees” are all the rage in Maine. Just how a vaccination bee differs from the ordi- nary variety we can’t say, but if its virus takes hold as that of the busy bee pure and simple does, it ought to be a howl- ing success. . . . . AKING the Bland Dollar for a model, saloon keepers have introduced a new drink called the Bland Smile. It is 80 per cent. whiskey and the rest water. . . . PROVERBS FOR POLICE. CLUB in time saves nine. A jail bird in prison 's worth two in the hand. You never miss your schooner till the family entrance is locked. * . . HE Sun is not the Democratic organ. Only the crank, and what doleful music it grinds, to be sure. . . . HERE is trouble about the Lieutenant-Governor elect’s assessment. It would seem as if Jones, he did n't pay the freight. R. CYRUS W. FIELD has instituted a suit against A. Oakey Hall for writing, and J. G. Bennett for publishing a libel. It is evident that Cyrus intends to “ lay the Cabal.” AN exchange says that London proper covers a very small area. u So we had supposed. About what is the size of London improper. . . . EVEN suicides a day is Berlin’s quota. Sort of Germicide ? . . . N Penn there are 30,000 patrons of husbandry. Utah still holds the record, however. . . . HERE are 600 newspapers in the U. S. that bear the name of News. They all go to prove what Shakespeare insinuated : that there is nothing in the name. . . . T is remarkable the damage and profanity which can be caused by the misplacement of a poor little space be- tween words in a newspaper, as witness: The Toronto Globe, in the head-line of a very favorable dramatic notice, announces “ Rose Coghlan a Sour Joan.” . . . TEL has been hanged, and the prospects of the Cana- dian Government getting to the end of its rope in short order are good. . . . ING THEEBAW'S fleet has been captured by the British, and a crew of one sailor has been designated to row it over into neutral waters. . . . ANON FARRAR made $4,500 by his lectures in New York. The Canon will be loaded to the muzzle with gold on his return to England. . . IEL’S family are said to feel worse cut up over the pictures of their relative in the American daily papers than over the unpleasant death he suffered. . . . I N Sweden the Government runs the drinking places and puts in each a free library. The Swedish Government sees that everything that goes to the making of a full man, from liquor to reading, is fur- nished. . . . i ls Sun is joyous because a rural exchange says it has the true Democratic Ring. This is a questionable compliment. There have been a great variety of Democratic Rings in our political history and it would be interesting to know by - the collar of which the Sum is marked.