Life, 1885-10-22 · page 12 of 16
Life — October 22, 1885 — page 12: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
# Life Magazine Satire Analysis This page contains political satire mocking an unnamed U.S. President (likely from the 1870s-80s, based on references to "silver question," "Bourbon Democrats," and "bloody shirt Republicans"). **The Main Cartoon:** A reporter interviews the President, who complains he cannot write his Congressional Message because he's paralyzed by competing political pressures—the Yap and Roumelia crisis, currency debates (silver vs. paper vs. gold), and factional conflicts. He laments the presidency offers only posthumous value through autographs. **Key References:** - "Bourbon Democrats" and "bloody shirt Republicans"—political factions of the era - "Vilas and...berrying for postmasters"—patronage appointments - Mentions of "Ben Butler" and "Dan" (likely political rivals) - "Mugwump appointees"—civil service reformers **The Satire:** The joke targets presidential indecision, spoils-system corruption, and the president's anxiety about contradictory political demands. The cartoon mocks both the office itself and partisan gridlock. **Additional Items** include humorous asides (Dakota secession, the "Whig Party" etymology, a servant misunderstanding "draw the goose").
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
236 The reporter saw what was coming, and saved the honor of the country by interrupting : “ Have you mapped out your policy for the coming session?” “Don't speak of it, man; don’t speak of it. I'm writing my Message now, and I declare I hardly know what to say. I've got past the ‘Dear Congress" part, and have signed it, but what to stick in the middle I don't know. Here's this Yap and Roumelia business that no mortal understands. I've got to commit myself one way or another; the silver question has got to be attended to. If I advocate ‘ daddies,’ Dan's just as like as not to come some April-fool joke on me, and give me $50,000 of them for my salary. If I go for paper, Ben Butler will call me a protégé of his, and if I side with gold and get my pay in it, I 'll be sure to pass off a five- dollar gold piece for a cent.’ Oh, I tell you, young man, do n't you ever be President of the United States. If you do, you'll be the worst sold man you ever saw. The only good thing about it is in manufacturing autographs for your posterity to sell, and I don’t even get the comfort of that. Where's my posterity ?” - LIFE: The reporter gave it up, and inquired if the President expected trouble with Congress. = “Well, I'm afraid we'll have a parroty kind of time between the Bourbon Democrats and the bloody shirt Re- publicans; but I have hopes.” “ Hopes?” “Yes, The small-pox may get here before Congress opens. But I must say good-bye to you, as Vilas and I are going berrying for postmasters. This is a good season to pick them. If you were n’t an offensive partisan I'd give you the inspectorship of the Mugwump appointees. It would n't be wearing work, and the salary's good; but there's no telling how long before youd be paragraphing me in the comic papers as another ‘Old Hickory’ and all that.” The President here withdrew and entered a go-cart from the Treasury Department, as a strong delegation of Jeffer- sonian Simpletons was at the door and he could n't well go out in the handsome Victoria which he usually drives in | accordance with his Anglomaniac notions. Carlyle Smith. STRAY ITEMS. Some of the Dakota people want to | secede from the Union; and next | question is, How much would the Govern- | ment pay them to go? A CHICAGO man recently caught the hay fever by associating with a grass widow. THE Czar and his suite went swimming in a creek during the royal meeting at Kremsier ; and a new sand-bar has been discovered where they bathed. THE friends of Emory Storrs claim that he never wore the same necktie twice; but why should they boast of this in a country where many a back-alley statesman never wore the same necktie once? In the English House of Commons the members sit with their hats on, in obedience to an old custom started generations ago by a coterie of bald-headed men known as the “Wig Party,” afterwards corrupted into “Whig Party.” TOO MUCH OF A GOOD THING. oc ES, sir; that was a drought. Flesh, fish, and fowl were dying of thirst, and there was n't water enough in the whole town to float a toothpick. Well, one day we agreed to pray for rain. We scarcely expected to get it, but thought there was no harm in asking, anyhow. About six hours after service a waterspout came along and washed the town out of existence. You see, we must have prayed too hard. ART IN THE KITCHEN. BRIDGET HAS BEEN TOLD TO “ DRAW” THE GOOSE. comicbooks.com