Life — October 15, 1885 — page 7: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

er - LIFE: 217 NEW ENTERPRISE. NEW company has filed articles of incorporation at Albany, and the general public will, no doubt, read with interest the prospectus which is just issued : (1) The Crag Countenance Co. (L't'd.) PROSPECTUS, Nature, usually so lavish, has been parsimonious with one of her products—the rock combination, popularly known as The Old Man of the Mountain. Ina world of twenty-five thousand miles circumference she has probably not created more than a dozen of these facial phenomena; and, even among such a small crop, but one or two bear a decidedly close resemblance to the human face. In all of them the vivid imagination of the tourist has to supply some of the features ; for where there is a nose, the chin is as absent as Charles Ross; and soon. Women have gone mad trying to trace out the vague face; and strong men have had to imbibe strong draughts before they could see what the optimistic guide discerns. : FOR CONEY ISLAND. And why does Nature always mould an old man? Would not the face of a woman, on the crag (when the sun would come o’ mornings to kiss it), draw more crowds? Would not even the stony face of Dr. Mary Walker be more lovely than the creviced, bumpy phiz of an old man? Would not the summer resort that owned a young maid of the moun- tain thrive apace ? It is to supply the shortcomings of Nature that The Crag Countenance Co. (Ltd.), will devote its best efforts. In an age where the largest block in the Liberty pedestal is artificial stone, it will be easy for us to imitate Nature in her materials; and with the aid of foreign sculptors we can excel her in her designs. Our castings are ready, and we can now turn out stone heads in all types of feminine beauty; and, to accord with the various localities, we have prepared special faces for DESIGN FOR MT. SULLIVAN, NEAR BOSTON, special places, which fact the summer resort host will bear in mind when ordering a crag countenance for his particular vicinity. For resorts near Boston we have a classic Grecian face, copied after the colossal A/hene. For resorts adjacent to New York we have a popular face (No. 28 in our catalogue), representing an American burlesque actor. (With this head we send a cask of chalk and a barrel of vermilion paint, with which the owner can keep the face well rouged.) For Phila- delphian resorts we have a quaint Quaker face—for Western cities a feldspar Minnehaha. Purchasers will please send a chipping from the cliff on which the face is to be placed, so that we can tint to match ; also state whether the head is to be bolted or glued to the crag. We are not working for gratitude, but know we shall receive it when the crags of Columbia teem with our faultless faces. Thousands of dollars have been drawn to the White Mountains by the indifferently-moulded features of an old man. Think what the exquisite features of The Young Maid of the Mountain will accomplish, ye hayseed hosts! Catalogue and terms on application. Wallace Peck, HIS THOUGHT, NNOCENT maiden over the way, Swinging in hammock this bright autumn day, Of what are you dreaming? HER THOUGHT, Wealthy young man just over the way, I'm weaving a web around you to-day ; For you I am scheming. AS. W.