Life — August 13, 1885 — page 13: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

LIFE i EIGER AT NVLLY) WHY HIS HAT SANK, PARTLY intoxicated man fell overboard from a boat the other day, and after being fished out of the water looked around and asked : ** Where ’s my hat?” The hat was nowhere to be seen. “*T guess,” said one, ‘‘ it must have sunk.” “1 wonder what made it sink,” the owner grumbled. ** Probably because there was a brick in it.” There was no more said.— Boston Courier. IN A QUANDARY, Wire; What's the matter, my dear? You seem to be in a quandary. Husband: Iam. I got adetter from my friend, Congressman X. to-day, in which he Fequests that it be not published, and I can 't make up my mind what paper to take it to. A GOOD REASON, Lirtte Johnny Fizzletop has the habit of waking up every night in the middle of the night, and demanding something to eat. At last his mother said to him: **Look here, Johnny, I never want to eat anything in the night.” ** Well, I don’t think I'd care much to eat anything ¢ either in the night if I kept all my teeth in a mug of water.”. 97 “Waar are the last teeth that come?” asked a Lynn teacher of her class in physiology. “*False teeth, mum,” replied a boy who had just waked up on the back seat.—Zynn Union, Littie girl from Chicago : ** Our family is a more aristocratic family than yours.” Little girl from Boston ; ‘* No, itis n't, My mother can boast of her forefathers for the past two centuries.”” Little girl from Chicago: “Oh, that is nothing. My mother can boast of four husbands in the last two years." — Philadelphia Call My tale concerns the descendants of Ham, possibly members of the Thompson Street Poker Club. After a fitful argument over the pasteboards, two of them determined to have it out, and so bet heavily, as that adverb was construed by them. A call was the inevitable result, as was also the query : ** Watcha got ?”” « Two par,” was the proudly uttered response. “Two par heah,” said Hannibal. in reply. Jacks heah,” ibal, with a tantalizing smile. Trays next," was Scipio's blunt declaration. “Trays heah,” mumbled Hannibol, as his face opened in a rin. “ Ace,” shouted Scipio, as he thumped the table conclusively. ** Ace next heah,” and Hannibal was in danger of falling from his chair in an ecstasy of delight. “ Holy Moses !" shricked Scipio, as he turned up the whites of his eyes. “Holy Moses heah,” and Hannibal stretched forth a sable hand to divide the pot.—Philadelphia News, Good New Light fReadiag IN THE Leisure [foment Series MADAME DE PRESNEL. By E. T. Poynter. camigton: "'S GIFT, ETC. By Hugh Conway. trait of the author A MILLIONAIRES COUSIN, By Emily Law. COND LIFE. By Mrs. Alexander. 33 ts. tie DYNAMITER ; on Naw Ananian Nicnts. Second Series. By R. L. Stevenson. 30 BOUND TOCETHER By Hugh Conway, gocts. PERIL. By Jessie Fothergill. ‘go cts, DARK DA\ Hugh Conway, soap, a5 cts. Cashmere Bouquet Toilet Soap. Has the largest sale of any superfine toilet Perfume nove tionally strong. Send four cents in stamps to Colgate & Co., N. Y., for KRAKAU ER, Ladies’ Tailor and Habit Maker. And Bellevue Are. Newport. ‘Would inform Ladies that he ill Suriag the months of June, Faiy aed huge, meet ive de: i yet, ines fives Comme ‘Coats, Uiners la he Toost improved safety pr ‘and are casurpassed for = She and fr-pelther de Wey ° ck up.” Tee and excep- spectfon soltettede PREJUDICE IS A THIEF, imple cake. MY FRIENDS AND | ian Sturgis. ascts. THE BABYS GRANDMOTHER” By LB Walford. 30 cts. HENRY HOLT & Co. PUBLISHERS, NEW YORK. recel of vei mmer measurement, Henriette Frame, ROBES AND MANTEAUX, takes occasion to announce that she’s, in hoice novelties for Spring vatumes, "Oak of ‘tows orders receive special atten- tion, Perfect fit guaranteed on receipt of 232 West 22d Street, Mew Aforh. And will rob you of mane good things. Our cigarettes are as fine as can be produced. They have lately been improved, are not hard vor dry—Will always smoke free and moist—Will not crumble in the pocket nor" catch you in the throat.” If you are not oj to a change and cannot obtain them of your dealer, send to the manufac- turers for a sample. WM. S. KIMBALL & CO., | Enclose three Red Stamps, _ Rochester, N. Y. Jffeed GC. Caroll, TAILOR & IMPORTER. In view of the increasing demand for garments of elegance and HIGH CLASS STANDARD of style, at reasonable prices, we are prepared to meet the emergency with an unusually select line for spring CARMEL:SOAP ] T by sell known that OLIVE OIL. SOAP—if pure—is wear, acceptable to the most refined taste. Riding Costumes and Liveries in English Styles. 166 Siocth Sbove., NEW YORK, Lundborg’ 8 Perfume, Edenia. Lundborg’s Perfume, Maréchal Niel Rose. Lundborg’s Perfume, Alpine Violet. Lundborg’s Perfume, Lily of the Valley. Lundborg’s Rhenish Cologne. comicbooks.com