Life, 1885-07-23 · page 7 of 16
Life — July 23, 1885 — page 7: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
# "The American Peerage" This page from *Life* magazine presents two heraldic coats of arms satirizing prominent American figures as if they were European nobility: **Efforts** (left): William M. Effortsworth, Earl of Windsor, Vermont—a satirical jab at someone's pretentious social climbing, with owls and a fireplace depicted in the heraldry. **Moretun** (right): Levi P. Moretun, a Baronet and "Soap-dispenser Extraordinary"—mocking wealth obtained through mundane commercial enterprise, suggesting nouveau riche absurdity. The satire ridicules wealthy Americans who adopt aristocratic airs despite humble origins. The text's mock-genealogical format parodies European peerage traditions, contrasting genuine nobility with American industrial fortunes. This reflects *Life*'s recurring theme: critiquing the pretensions of the American wealthy class attempting to purchase respectability through conspicuous consumption and assumed gentility.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
- LIFE: 49 THE AMERICAN PEERAGE. [COMPILED BY PERK, ULTERIOR KNIGHT FOR MANHATTAN, ] / Cfforts. FFORTS, WILLIAM M., Earl of Windsor (Vt.), and Senator elect from New York. Lineage: Earl Efforts traces to Demosthenes and back again in one continuous sentence, which is still-unfinished. Like Demosthenes, he holds pebbles in his mouth when mak- ing speeches, and occasionally mingles them with his pearls of eloquence. The noble earl was a member of the famous Apollinaris Cabinet under Hayes, thus escaping suspicion of complicity with the (Cabinet) Whiskey Ring. By his election to the Senate he has made himself one of the greatest Efforts of his life. He lives in splendor on his two States, and’ has a large number of retainers. Arms : Ermine, a bar (legal), sable, with three owls perched upon it, proper. In base, a shirt, guttes du sang, inscribed with a Roman nose, proper. Crest : A hand with forensic forefinger rampant. Motto: “commence, but never finish.” Seat : Senate-side, Washington D, C.; Town house, The Labyrinth, New York. Clubs: Bond-holders’ League, and Language Club. Poretun, ] Ge ORETUN, LEVI P., Baronet, Gentleman-in-waiting and Soap-dispenser Extraordinary. Lineage: Sit Levi Moretun descends from the Honor family, a long way, and is of pure Christian ancestry, as indi- cated by his first name. His profound intellect and great literary attainments have been rewarded by large wealth; but other studies caused a deficiency in English, which rendered it advisable to appoint him Minister to France. The baronet's modest and shrink- ing disposition has made it difficult for him to fill all the offices he would like. M. Moretun has aspired to political greatness with such frequent fidelity that he is best known among those with whom he is thrown as Solicitor-General Moretun. He is a leading light in the party of the Left, by whom he is regarded as a pillar of strength. Arms : A vacant (office) shield. Crest : A billet (of wood) surmounted by a mark of interrogation. Motto: ** What Next 2?” Seats : Logroll Hall, Washington, and Lobbi house, Albany. Clubs : Gents’, and Boodle’s. knife. And so he was, but was this all? By no means. St. Andrew’s penetrating poetic soul perceived at once that, in scraping off the mud, he was soiling his fingers and melting his collar, thus paving the way for heroism and self- sacrifice. “As they withdrew from the spot, she said: ‘The western sky is so beautiful!’ He replied: ‘1 always preferred the eastern sky.’ Here was a point of severance, and the weight of an ominous foreboding rested upon them. He went west, although he preferred the eastern sky, married a Comanche | widow, and settled down on a ranche. She married | | Salad;” “Just a Peanut Hull ; a Dutchman and lives on a market garden in New Jersey. They are good friends; but don't speak, because they never have a chance.” FINIS. This novel is by the author of the following popular works : “A Lady's Slipper ;" “ He Said He Did ;” “* The Undiscov- | ered Caramel ;” “The Phial of Lip Salve; “The White Cravat ;” “The Croquet Mallet;" “The Plate of Chicken “The Rise of the Light f Bread ;” “ The Candy-Smeared Finger ;" etc., etc. } JAM. comicbooks.com