Life — July 2, 1885 — page 7: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

- LIFE: 7 DISCOVERY OF A SPECIES OF THE GENUS HOMO NEVER BEFORE FOUND IN AMERICA, TRAMP, fully up to the standard as regards dress and general personal appearance, was seated in the cor- ner of a waiting-room at a railroad station, puffing at the last quarter of a disreputable looking cigar. On the wall was a large sign which prohibited smoking in that room. After some ladies had commenced to cough in a menacing manner, and to look excitedly at the notice, and then glance indignantly at the tramp, who was still puffing calmly and unconsciously, thinking pleasant thoughts of how nice it was to have a smoking-room comfortably furnished all for nothing, and imagining now that -he was in the smoking sa- loon of his steam yacht gliding along the shores of the blue Mediterranean, and now that he was in the window of the Union League Club, thinking over his presidential policy and picking out a cabinet, the gate-keeper caught him by the shoulder and rudely accosted him: “Get out of here!” “ Why?" asked the tramp calmly but firmly. “Can't you read?” The tramp looked hurt. “ What does that notice say?” The tramp looked up wearily and read : “ Gentlemen must | not smoke in this room!" “Then what do you mean by puffing at that dirty butt?” “Tam not a gentleman.” The gate-keeper stood aghast at the lowness to which this | creature had sunk. He had been born and brought up in America ; he had seen gentlemen who laid paving stones and constructed sewers ; he had seen gentlemen whose business it was toremove ashes ; he had even known unfortunate gentle- men who had been sent to the Island ; in fact, he. had been familiar with all classes of society, but he had never seen anyone so utterly devoid of self-respect as not to resent the slightest implication that he was not a gentleman.’ He turned away with a look of contempt, that was almost pity, and told the ticket agent that the company must make a new rule for “ these dirty foreigners.” C.RLH. A SINGULAR INSTANCE. H E murmurs a distant respectful “ Sie,” In his primitive, youthful Teutonic ; With guileless greenness unguessing that she Prefers pronouns less purely Platonic. So she drops—as by chance—the soft artful “ Du” His shy hesitation is won by, For her practice is Scriptural, through and through, And she du's as she would be done by! ” FOR PRESIDENT: JOHN A. LOGAN. HE Illinois Republicans have already nominated Senator Logan for the presidential term beginning in 1889, Mr. Blaine’s congratulatory telegram has not yet arrived, and is thought to have been delayed by a broken wire. The Illinois people are wildly infatuated with the Senator's dash- ing philological empiricism, and think that his bold linguistic free-lance would soon reform the character of presidential messages. It is proper to state that the word Logan is derived from the Greek “Logos"—speech; and for this reason we find the virile Choctaw brawn of the Senator's literary style, tempered and sweetened with the musical cadences of ancient Greece, ONLY A SERVANT BUT On! How GREEN. ONLY A CAN OF IKKEROSENE COAL onuy A MATER, SOME AND Wood ANQ ONLY A GREASE SPOT wane RE THE GIRL STOOD. ONLY: A DOMESTIC EPISODE IN FOUR TABLEAUX. comicbooks.com —