Life — June 18, 1885 — page 2: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

GILLIES BROTHERS & TURNURE, ART AGE PREGS, 7O-70 FULTON STREET, BR. Y. JUNE 181, 1885. 1155 Broapway, NEw York. Published every Thursday, $5 a year in advance, postage free. Single copies, 10 cents. Back numbers can be had by applying to this office.’ Vol. I., 50 cents per number ; Vol. II., 25 cents per number; Vols, III. and IV., at regular ‘rates. Rejected contributions will be destroyed unless accompanied by a stamped and directed envelope. S certain newspapers of this city still continue to cise President Cleveland's appointment of Southern Brigadier-Generals, Colonels, Majors and other officers, we think it only fair to remind them of one fact : The President cannot ignore the South as a section of the United States, and as every able bodied man in that section has attained more or less rank from a guerilla Brigadier to a street corner Major, it is impossible that matters should be otherwise. Criticism on this score is therefore unjust and should be at once discontinued. . * * Ee eSTER LOWELL has been guilty of a most — flagrant breach of Republican etiquette in accepting the Queen's invitation to dine with her and pass the night at Windsor Castle. If our late envoy had been a true, old style gentle- man he would have firmly and politely informed the Queen that if she wanted to know how Yankees man a knife and fork, she knew where he lunched and could come and see; and that as far as sleeping in-Windsor Castle was con- cerned, he ‘d heard about the crank beds they kept in that institution, and was too old a horse to be kept awake all night just for the fun of sleeping under the roof of an effete mon- archy, to satisfy the whim of a miserly old female like Vic- toria. Such a reply would not only have been characteristic of American manners and increased the respect of the European nations toward us, but would have satisfied that refined, elegant and polished gentleman, the Editor of the New York World. * . * H OW shallow the President's claims to be a Civil Ser- vice Reformer are, is shown by his action last week in displacing President Arthur's French cook, M. Fortin, and appointing Miss Kate Keenan, of Albany. Miss Keenan is an old style Jeffersonian Democrat, the simplicity of whose principles is adequately shown by the fact that her last state banquet consisted of two courses— meat and pie. This is undoubtedly in true accord with our nationality, but it seems to us that the President ought to have considered the requirements of the Diplomatic Corps, and at least have substituted for M. Fortin a cook who can show by a diploma that he or she is an adept in the art of Universal Cookery. Miss Keenan may be a fair all around cook, but we feel as- sured that when it comes to dining the Russian Envoy, the lady will be found wanting in the preparation of tallow can- dles 4 /a Russe, or axle grease with Muscovy sauce ; and if the Chinese Minister should perchance drop into lunch, we know that Miss Keenan would be far from maintaining that equi- librium, which is an essential part of every perfect cook, while mixing a batter for mice cakes, or catching rats for a Chinese pot-pie. In all these things M. Fortin was an adept, and Mr. Cleve- land's excuse for discharging him—offensive partisanship—is far from satisfactory. Particularly when that offensive par- tisanship consisted in furnishing the Democratic diner with a lot of French dishes, which he could not translate into English, and which in consequence he professed not to enjoy. . . . R, GLADSTONE has at last incurred defeat, and we have discovered the vulnerable point of the Britons’ sensibilities. Strike at the wages of his Royal Family and he secretly approves. Cast reflections upon the sacred _venerability of his wit, and you fail to ruffle him. Permit a wild Arab leader of undisciplined forces to route the flower of his army, and he still glories in his prestige. Let a wily Muscovite Diplomat cheat him at his own game, and he will forgive you; but raise the tax on his beer and the force of the catapult will be weak beside the concentration of power which he puts into the boot with which, as the Poet says, he “Kicks you from your place.” . . ’ “TTHE newspapers are again trying to resurrect General Gordon; and the chances of his living to die another score of horrible deaths are promising. Cannot our esteemed contemporaries of the daily press give us some more novel sensation than this? An investigation, for instance, in the Arctic regions, to determine whether or not Hendrick Hudson has yet ceased to exist. Such an enterprise would not only be super-sensational, be- cause of the superlative deceasedness of the explorer, but it would cause a general exodus of the news-mongers of the Ghoul Department of the Press into a region from whence the chances of their return would be largely at a discount. comicbooks.com