Life — May 28, 1885 — page 4: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

JUNE APPROACHETH. i OW fold away your roller-skate, Put ulsters in the chest, Pack camphor in your sealskin sack, Get out your linen vest. The mercury 's exceeding high, The clam is quite the style ; The festive broker on the street Now sports a spotless tile. The troutlet swimmeth in the rill, The wormlet speaketh not, For he feels the angler and his hook Mayhap are on the spot. The tramp rejoiceth in the shad- Y seats of Central Park, And Coney’s Isle is crowded with The lovers of the dark. The reason of this state of things Will be apparent soon ; The sun will shortly enter on The joyous month of June. . . . “ HET jess shows what happens to the man what takes the 7ribune,” said Mrs. Spriggins, laying down the paper in which she had been reading of the Dolphén's latest exploit. “Why, what's happened now?” enquired Mr. S., looking at her over the brim of his coffee cup. “ Why it says here that that boat, the DodpAzn, was inter- fered with in her runnin’ by havin’ a hot journal aboard. I'd a thought Mr. Roaches would er known better nor that.” * . * R. GLADSTONE recently expressed himself of the opinion that he was a sort of English Edition of the Russian Minister of War. An English M. de Jeers as it were. | . * * E cannot sympathize with those who find fault with Mr. Cleveland for sending rebel brigadiers to foreign missions. It is simply his way of “turning the rascals out” of the country, and he should be sustained, not criticised, by a grateful people. . . . O, Ajax, if we were in our right senses, we would not call the Battery Swimming Bath, Castile Garden No. 2. [eee are so many candidates for Collector of the Port, that President Cleveland scriously contemplates appointing a Collector of Candidates before finally deciding upon the man. * . . HE hardest blow Mr. Kelly has had of late years has just been dealt. Mr. McLaughlin has written a history of his life, and dubbed him the “ 7réduae of the People.” As Mr. McL. does not state, however, whether he is a back number or not, all may yet be ~satisfactorily explained. It might possibly happen that this could by some mischance or other be misconstrued into an honorable distinction, . * * R. LABOUCHERE heads anarticlein 7ruth: HELLS In FRANCE. We are glad to hear thison such good authority. Chicago. Boston, New Orleans and other pretending cities may now consider themselves counted out. . . . STRIKER in the neighboring town of Yonkers was arrested last week for riotous conduct and “ refusing -to disperse when so ordered by the police.” We are constrained to state that the striker has our sincere sympathy. It is one of the peculiarities of our law that it sometimes requires of a man that he shall do that which is physically impossible. Here is a case in point. How could this striker scatter himself, even conceding his willingness to do so? It is morally impossible for a man to “ walk off in different directions" unless he be under the influence of aldermanic quinine ; and a policeman who incites a law-abiding citizen to put himself in a state of intoxication should be summarily dealt with. We recommend that in future the police be compelled to furnish individuals who refuse to disperse a sufficient quan- tity of dynamite to accomplish the desired end. If the striker still persists in his refusal to scatter himself, the interests of justice can then and then only be subserved by running him in. As the law stands, the individual has n’t half a chance. * . . HE revisers of the Old Testament, judging by samples of their work lately received by cable, are decidedly inclined to hair-splitting. We therefore await with interest their version of the story of Solomon and the infant claimed by the two women. If this heir is split, one of the most beautiful and instructive of biblical stories will be ruthlessly destroyed, and the revisers will have to submit to harsh criticism on the ground of icono- clasm. comicbooks.com