Life, 1885-04-16 · page 7 of 16
Life — April 16, 1885 — page 7: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
# Analysis: "The American Peerage" Page This page from *Life* magazine presents two heraldic coat-of-arms designs mocking American "aristocracy"—a satirical critique of wealth and pretension in America. **Chess-nola** (left): A Marquis of Fiford is described as devoted to anatomical restoration of amputees. The heraldry mockingly depicts him as a gentleman-scientist with dubious credentials, his shield featuring checkerboard patterns. **Churchyard** (right): An Archbishop figure, described as spiritually tolerant yet politically compromised regarding burials of defeated politicians, suggesting religious hypocrisy about state power. Both entries ridicule how wealthy Americans adopted European aristocratic titles and pretensions while their actual accomplishments or moral positions were questionable. The format parodies *genuine* heraldry to expose American social climbing as absurd.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
- LIFE: THE AMERICAN PEERAGE. Chessarola. CHESS-NOLA, P.D., Marquis of Ffrord, Knight of the | Order of Cyprus Antiques and Horribles, Treasurer of Curium, General of the Cashiered Reserve, and Superintend- ent of Repairs. This eminent patriot and nobleman; during the Civil War, was impressed with a deep aversion for am- putated or fractured limbs, and he has since devoted his en- ergies to inventing a method of restoring or even replacing anatomical parts, in persons who have suffered casualty. His large collection of models illustrating these operations, in Central Park, made at his own expense, is a monument of in- genious industry, Marquis Chess-noia’s uncompromising honesty and hatred of shams have incited attacks by his political enemies. Arms (of assumption) : Checky, gules and argent on an escutcheon of pretence, a glue-bottle, proper, between three stone legs, satle. Crest: A lion gardant, having in place of his own head an unre- lated portrait of the Marquis, Supporters : Two trustees in swallow-tail habit, their eyes ban- daged. Motto: * Non Valent Disjecta Membra,” Seat : Golgoi Hall. Club: The Social Cement. COMPILED BY PERK, ULTERIOR KNIGHT FOR MANHATTAN, Churchyard, CHURCHYARD, Rev. Wm. (Spiritual Lord), Archbishop of the die-o-cease of Blaine. The reverend peer rose to the archbishopric by virtue of his large-minded tolerance ; yet his leaning towards Romanism and his advocacy of the union of church-yard and State, for the more convenient burial of defeated politicians, have incurred some unpopularity. Was submoted to the Bishopric of Waibac at the instance of his friends, the enemy. This was the reward of his cele- brated discourse, declaring in favor of the Duke of Albany, Grover I., against the Pretender James, of Maine, who was by election the dauphin of the dying dynasty then in power. This discourse was most effective, resulting in the overthrow of James and the coronation of the Duke of Albany. The reverend Bishop by this action gained the title of King-maker, upon the pride of which he now exists, his income having been largely reduced in consequence of his submotion, Arms : Sable, a crozicr in bend sinister, between a mitre and a key, all highly proper; impaling vest, a chevron between three R's, argent. Crest : A tombstone bearing a wreath of immortelles. Motto : ** It mitre been.” Seat : Back-seat, N. Y. Club: The Tribune. NOT CONVINCING. UTHOR-—I must confess, sir, that your terms are some- what unexpected. If I furnish the manuscript, and pay all the expenses of publication, you will publish my book | and give me fifteen per cent. of the profits. PUBLISHER—Just so, sir ; just so. AuTHOR—But why then should I not publish it myself? PUBLISHER—Because, my dear fellow, you are an author, not a publisher. The author was cogitating this stupendous problem when he walked off a North River dock and was drowned. A GRAVE RESPONSIBILITY—The sexton’s. A PAIR OF PANTS—Two tired dogs. comicbooks,.com