Life — April 2, 1885 — page 11: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

OUR WASHINGTON LETTER. (From Lives Special Fefersonian WasHINGTON, D. C., March 30, 1885. “THe excitement incidental to the inauguration having somewhat subsided, and the personnel of the new cabinet having been fully decided upon, the new administra- tion has turned its attention to its social responsibility, and has startled society here by its truly Democratic reccnstruc- tion of the social obligations of the master of the White House. Instead of the sumptuous state dinners formerly giver, the President has’ issued invitations to the Diplomatic Corps to attend a soap-bubble party at the White House from six to | eight o'clock. This is intended to inaugurate a series of Jeffersonian entertainments, to be followed by a spelling bee, to the members of the Supreme Court, while the Army and Navy are to be entertained on the first of April by a magic lantern exhibition, The invitations to the Diplomatic Corps are unique, and with true Jeffersonian simplicity are writ- ten in lead pencil, on the reverse of the President's visiting cards. The excessive thoughtfulness of the President, in not keep- | ing the Diplomatic Corps up too late, has won him many | golden opinions among his late opponents, . . . HE President has just issued an imperative order to the members of his Cabinet, that all state documents are to be sealed in the future with their thumbs, as being more in keeping with the Democratic theory of simplicity, and as they will only remain in power four years, the documents are ex- pected to stand excessive ¢humbing. As the Chinese detect criminals by the impression of their thumbs, there is sup- posed to be more in this order than appears on the surface. . . . N answer to the enquiry of a New York evening paper, I would say that Thos. P. Ochiltree is not an applicant for the position of valet to the President. . . . HE well-known antipathy of the President to private equipages was the subject of a Cabinet council yester- day, the result being that a horse-car for his use has been ordered. The wisdom of the decision is apparent, as a Cabi- net meeting can be held in the horse-car while the President is enjoying his outing, resulting in avast saving to the nation. SS. THE MESSENGER BOY. (SONNET.) FT have I seen him—Hermes’ godchild—stand Gazing with sad yet fascinated stare Into a candy shop, whose dainties rare Fills his young soul with dreams of fairyland. Across his lips he holds, in one wee hand, A telegram, and pipes thereon an air, The while his eye roams from the rich éc/atr To linger on the mintstick’s twisted band. Gaze on, O boy! gaze on,—yet would I fain Receive my telegram—if mine it be— Ere the unsilenced robins nest again, Ere spring’s sweet violets perfume the lea, Ere man shall have “ A Drowsy Tortoise” ta’en As the true meaning of thy “A. D. T.” CH. S. S. TEACHER.—‘ Why did the children of Israel sprinkle blood on the door posts ?” PuPiL.—* Please, mam, they wanted to paint the town red.” A “RIGHT SMART" THING.—Horse Radish. | more likely pleased with the everglades of Florida. TRUE HAPPINESS. RUE happiness consists either in being somebody else, or having what you cannot get, consequently there is not enough about to goround. There is no lack of desirable | things, but the gaining possession usually takes too long. By the time one gets them he is generally too old to appre- ciate them to their full extent. Let any one having spent his first century in pursuing any- thing obtain it, he is apt to enjoy himself in a sober and steady manner. Whilst if the old adage be credited “that there is more joy in heaven over one sinner that repenteth,” we are afraid that their happiness is only enjoyed in homao- pathic doses. People’s ideas of happiness, of course, vary. A youth frequently places his on a “mustache,” which can never be appreciated by him, for by the time he has | it, he has outgrown that fancy and placed his ideal fur- ther on. A spinster very often imagines happiness will come with marriage, while her more experienced sister knows it will come more surely with divorce. AZsop's Fox placed his on grapes, but the degenerate now-a-day foxes are more liable, nigger-like, to attack chickens as their ideal. A cashier's notion is to have a good, steady view of the Falls from the Canadian side, whilst his Canadian rival would be Contrary