Life, 1885-03-05 · page 12 of 16
Life — March 5, 1885 — page 12: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
# "Fables for the Times" - Life Magazine Page 138 This page contains satirical fables and humor pieces typical of Life magazine's social commentary. **"The Horse and His Friends"** uses animal characters to mock mixed social gatherings. A horse's dinner party descends into chaos when diverse guests—terrapin, cat, buzzard, dog, snake, and ass—each complain about conditions reflecting their different natures and social standings. The moral criticizes attempting to unite people of vastly different "tastes and conditions" under one roof, likely satirizing contemporary class tensions or failed social integration efforts. **"The Dogs and the Wolves"** appears to satirize perverse incentives: when a government offers bounties for wolf scalps, farmers abandon sheep-raising to profit from wolf-raising instead, defeating the law's purpose. This likely comments on poorly designed legislation that backfires. The remaining content includes a cartoon about crush hats causing social mishaps, a flirtatious poem, and humorous "answers to correspondents"—a regular Life feature providing witty, absurd responses to reader questions, using wordplay and logical paradoxes for comedic effect.
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Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
138 FABLES FOR THE TIMES. THE HORSE AND HIS FRIENDS. HORSE once gave a birthday dinner and invited a large number of friends. The Terrapin was among | - LIFE: | something that was said reflecting on his antecedents, that | he kicked down a whole side of the house, and the entertain- | ment ended in a promiscuous row. Morac :—This Fable teaches the imprudence of mingling a great many tastes and conditions under the same roof. the first gents that arrived, but as soon as he reached the | parlor he got mired in the Brussels carpet, and after being pried out, seized his hat and left in disgust, swearing like a grenadier as he went down the steps. The Cat left soon afterwards, alleging that she was sickened with the smell of mustard. When the whole party repaired to the dinner-table, the Buzzard at once excused himself, claiming that no food had been prepared that was fit for a gentleman toeat. The Dog left in anger because he was not served with food till after the Fox. The Snake crawled sullenly away on hearing some spiteful remark about animals that bolt their food without chewing it. When the animals had nearly finished the repast the Ass became so exasperated at THE DOGS AND THE WOLVES. HE wolves once became so numerous in one of the backwoods counties that the dogs prevailed upon the | Legislature to pass an act offering a handsome premium for every wolf scalp; but under the new law it paid better to have wolves than sheep, and the farmers all went into wolf- raising for their scalps. The result was that the wolves be- came so plentiful that the dogs had to flee into a far country to escape annihilation. MOoRAL.—Do n't bait a minnow-hook with a whole ash- cake. (La Vie Moderne.) ONE OF THE DANGERS OF THE CRUSH HAT. “FORTES FORTUNA JUVAT.” HEN I begged a kiss of Dolly, Dolly seemed offended ; Looked so grave I cursed my folly— Thought my suit was ended. When I stole a kiss of Dolly, Though her cheeks grew redder Than the berries on the holly-— She said I should wed her. He that falters in his wooing Neer shall get his beauty ; Sighing suitors die a suing : Lovers! do your duty ! ANSWERS TO CORRESPONDENTS. L. D.—We never heard of such a thing as a “ blind al- * manac,” but the “ Arabian Nights" tells a long story about a one-eyed Calendar. Constant Reader.—A “ Washington correspondent” is a writer from and not fo Washington. Winds and correspon- dents both get their names from the quarter from which they blow. . | Newton, Jr—Itis not true that the whole is always equal to | the sum ofall its parts. The axiom, for instance, falls to pieces in the case of a head of hair. In that instance, the larger and | more numerous are the parts, the less is the whole hair. A MAN WHO HATH MUSIC IN HIS SOLE.—The wearer of machine-made boots. comicbooks.com