Life — January 29, 1885 — page 13: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

- LIFE: SeIS§RS AT NVLLy ENERAL JASON L, BROWN, of Missouri, a well-known local statesman, called at the Executi the other day, to give the Governor some pointers about his Cabi- net, While he was waiting in the ante-room ke accosted a man who had just come into the room and was glancing over a paper. “*T suppose you are here on the same errand that I am?” he re- marked. ‘I don't know,” replied the stranger, pleasantly. “What errand are you on ‘m going to tell that old chump in there how to fix his Cabinet.” ‘t I can't say that I am on that errand.” ‘Maybe you ain't a politician?’ ‘ No,” re- turned the stranger, politely; “I'm the old chump.” General Brown will not be in the next Cabinet.—Argonaut. IT is related that a certain German maiden once presided at a mineral-water fountain, at which there were only two kinds of syrup—vanilla and lemon. To her came a young man, who said: ‘I want a glass of soda without syrup.” ‘ Ja,” replied Katrina ; ‘boot vat kind of sirop you vant him mitout—mitout vanilla or mitout lemon ?'—A rgonaut. PARENTAL NEGLECT. Wealthy Farmer (looking over his son's school report): ‘Here's a Pretty State of things! Nothing but bad marks all the way through !” Son: “There is nobody to blame but the ham, which you did not send to the master, as I wanted you to,"— Zid: Bits. Mansion in Albany,. 69 We do love poetry, and especially when it conveys to us such startling truth as was recently given to the world in a poem be- ginning * Darkness creeps o'er us as night comes on.” A truth ike that, even though crushed to earth, would bob up serenely ever and anon.— 7id- Bits. Wuite digging a well in Rome, Ga., a workman found, at the depth of sixty-four feet down in the bowels of the earth, a petri- fied oyster. A legend exists to the effect that a church supper held in Rome twenty-five years ago was almost a failure on ac- count of its oyster escaping from a back window and taking to the woods. It is supposed that this petrified bivalve is the miss- ing oyster. We suspect it was recognized by a mole between its shoulder blades. The oyster must have been terribly frightened to burrow so deep into the earth.— Nor istown Herald. “ Joun,” said Mrs, Noovo Rich to her husband, “I intend to return some calls this afternoon. Won't you step down to the sable and tell them to send up a cart-de-visit with a driver.”"— x, A new chin holder, which is pronounced the most satisfactory one ever known, has been invented for violin players. Now, if some inventor will adapt it to Congressmen, the whole country will rise up and vote him a penson,—£x. FIRST CLASS IN GEOGRAPHY. New York School Teacher : * Which is the highest mountain in our State ?” ‘Father went upa year ago, and hasn't come down ."— Beacon, HENRY HOLT &CO.,N. Y.| HAVE READY: THE CIVIL SERVICE IN THE UNITED STATES. [From the Reports of 1884.) Containing a Catalogue of all non-Elective Posi ith the Compensation of each, and full nin regard to the Open Competitive Examinations under the act of 1883; also a De- | . scription of the Civil Service of the States of New | York, Massachusetts and their Municipalities, Cl e under recent laws. By Joun M. Comstock, Chairman of the United ‘States Board of Ex: | rs for the Customs Service in New York | a City. Large ramo, $2 00. ——COMMON SENSE BINDER—— FOR BINDING Cashmere Bouquet Send four cents in stamps to Colgate & Co., N. Y., for sample cake. JACQUES KRAKAUER, Lavigs Tatton ano Hasit Maker, 29 E.aut St. N. V.,and Belleoue Ave., Newport, Would respectfully an- pounce to the Ladies that he will make SPECIALLY LOW PRICES, from date to February 13th, in order to. keep his large force of specialists fully em- ployed. N. B.—This announce- ment is strictly limited to the period named. Special attention paid to to all orders sent by mail ‘A perfect fit guaranteed without personal attend= ance. Soap. 3 “LIFE: Cheap, Strong and Durable, Will hold 06 numbers, Mailed te any part of the United States for $1. Address, office of * LIFE," 1155 Beoapway, N.Y. FI a ALFRED T. CARROLL, i TAILOR AND PURIFIZnS es welles will dot, (Ne ether comnetio IMPORTER 166 Sixth Ave., NEW YORK. Invites attention gs toa new and select stock of unusually choice fabrics, for Gentlemen's Prom- enade and Evening ress. Riding Costumes and Livery Outfits in English Styles. the least, ‘gbulle removes: {srougtoul the Uo base mata'iona, 01.005 ‘one selling the same, ASKIN OF BEAU SY 13.4307 FOREVER. Oriental Cream’ or Magical Beautifier A. Sayre, eaid to a lady of the he: indies will eso them T recor harmful of all tbe Skin te will Inet six. montha csing itevery day. leo saperdonne heft wicnochiary toteein sive. CBOE COUR AUD, Bolg Prop 8 Bond St, ¥ ‘all “Drogeists ‘end. Fancy. Goes 01,003 Reward for arrest and proof of any PER VOLUME WILL BE PAID FOR $5 Cinsin Geet editions of Hawthorne, Poe, Whittier, and other authors. For list address, BOOK BUYER, P. O. Box 3766, New York, THE GENUINE FRANK B. CONVERSE Teg Pang Fiechicg Moth Feiebe Reaband Skis | THE FRANK B. CONVERSE | Banjo Instruction and Salesroom, 6x West 42d Street, New York. OUR SPECIALTIES. Ricuy Bonn ano Ittustratsp Girt Books STANDARD AnD MisceLLanous LiTaraTURE. SraTionery vor Faswionasts Soctery. Weppinc, Recertion an Visirixc Canos, Pictorial ENGRAVING ON Steet PLaTEs. GEO. R. LOCKWOOD & SON, Publishers, Booksellers, Stationers & Engravers. 812 Broadway, New York. @uisbed Dr, | ton (epatient A mend "Gourand’ Cream’ as dons.” One NY, Dealers ‘Eorope, Beware of comicbooks.com