Life — December 25, 1884 — page 13: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

* LEEE - FAT SERS AT WL GOOD AS GOLD. HERE'S the girl with the smiling face, The girl with the witching eye, There’s the girl with stately grace, ‘And the girl that is modest and shy ; There’s the girl with the winning air, The girl that ’s reserved and cold. There ’s the girl with the curly hair, And the girl that is rather old ; There’s the girl that is grand and tall, The girl with the dimpled chin, But the girl that beats them all Is the girl that has got the tin. —Boston Courier, Do n’r fret if you cannot go into society. The oyster is often present at a supper when he would perhaps prefer to be at home in bed.— Boston Courier. “On, dear,” sighed a farmer’s wife wearily, as she dropped into a chair after.a hard day’s work, ‘'I feel as if I were going to be sick. My head throbs, and my back aches dreadfully, and—” “By gosh,” interrupted the farmer, starting up and seizing his hat, ‘that reminds me, I forgot to give that two-year-old colt his condition powders to-night, and he's been a-wheezin’ all day,” 369 “WHERE were you when the first shot was fired in this row ?” the magistrate asked the policeman who made the complaint. “ Right on the spot; right in the crowd,” replied the officer, proud- ly. *‘And where were you when the second shot was fired 2” And with blushing reserve the officer modestly admitted: ‘ Three blocks down the street, under the stone bridge, at the end of the culvert."—Burlington Hawkeye. THE entire business portion of a Western town was reported as destroyed by fire, and when a charity association made inquiry, to render some assistance, it was discovered that a solitary saloon had been swept away.—Cincinnati Merchant Traveller, ALL THE FAMILY. “Rossi,” said the visitor kindly, ‘‘ have you any little broth- ers and sisters ?”” “No,” replies wee Robbie, solemnly. ‘I’m all the children we 've got."—Ex, A Boston lawyer was during the Presidential election a pro- nounced Independent. At the Republican caucus in his ward objections were made to his taking part in the proceedings on ac- count of his departure from the regular ticket. Upon returning home he remarked to his family that he was discarded because he was a ‘‘ mugwump.”’ Hibs attentive little daughter heard the conversation, and the next day said to several callers assembled in the parlor, “ Papa was turned out of a meeting last night be- | cause he was a chipmunk !"—Zxchange. “Ip you don’t keep out of this yard you'll catch it,” said a woman toa boy in West Lynn. “All right,” answered the gamin; “T wouldn't have come in if I’d known your folks had it."”— Lynn Item, and he hurried to the barn.—Hartford Times. LADY -BRASSAY’S NEW BOOK. In the Trades, the Tropics, and the Roaring Forties. Elegantly illustrated with nearly 300 wood en- gravings and ten maps and charts. One of the most sumptuous books of travel ever issued. A BEAUTIFUL GIFT BOOK. Price, $5 00. YOUNG PEOPLE’S BOOKS. “*Two books which we can cordially recommend to young readers.”—Boston Transcript. Ralph, the Drummer-Boy. ‘A Story of the Days of Washington, By Louis Rousselet.. Translated by W. I. Gordon. Il lustrated. 12mo, $1.50. JACQUES KRAKAUER, Ladies’ Tailor, 29 E. ast St., N. ¥.,and Bellevue Ave., Newport. Would respect: fully ‘announce to the Ladies that he will make SPECIALLY LOW PRICES forthe next6odays (Dec, 15 to Feb. 45), in. order to Keep "his large force of specialists fully employed. Y Betis an- Dry Special, E Brut. paid to all orders Sent ‘by ‘mail. perfect ft guaranteed without personal attendance. LuVinier ace 49 BROADS! Neve Send one, two, three orfive dol- lars for a retail box, by express, of the best Candies in the world, put up in handsome boxes. All strictly pure.’ Suitable for presents. Try it once. ‘Addres: C. F, GUNTHER, Confectioner. 78 Mapison StrEET, CHICAGO. THE GENUINE Captain Phil: A Boy’s Experience in the Western Army dur- ing the War of the Rebellion. By M. M. Thomas. ramo, $r.50. New and cheaper edition of standard. FRANK B. CONVERSE THE FRANK B. CONVERSE Young Folk’s Cyclopzdias. COMMON THINGS. $2.50. PERSONS AND PLACES. $2.50. Young Folk’s History of the War for the Union. rama, Illustrated, $2.50. HENRY HOLT &CO.,N. Y. COLGATE & CO. * : ve TOILET OPS: Color—white. Quality—absolutely pure. ‘Washing properties—unsurpassed. Perfume—novel & exceptionally strong. With the tasteful and refined it is the most popular of all superfine toi'et soaps. Banjo Instruction‘and Salesroom, 6x West 42d Street, New York. OUR SPECIALTIES. Ricuty Bounp anp Itiustratep Girt Books Sranparp AND MisceLLangous LiTgRATURE. STaTIoNeRY FOR FASHIONABLE Society. Weppinc, Reception anv Visitinc Carns. Picrorta ENGRAVING ON STEEL PLaTEs. GEO. R. LOCKWOOD & SON, Publishers, Booksellers, Stationers & Engravers. 812 Broadway, New York. comicbooks.com