Life, 1884-12-04 · page 13 of 16
Life — December 4, 1884 — page 13: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
# Page 321 of Life Magazine: Satirical Humor and Era Advertisements This page features brief comic anecdotes typical of Life magazine's satirical style. The jokes mock forgetfulness (a boy can't recall election returns), Irish domestic servants (janitor and wife's malapropism about a "leaking" gas), and foolish behavior (passengers pestering a streetcar driver with obvious questions). One joke obliquely references the recent Civil War, with a child offering a darkly absurd explanation for Peter walking on water, referencing someone who lost a limb at Vicksburg. The page is primarily filled with period advertisements for luxury goods—tailor services, toilet soap, banjo instruction—reflecting the magazine's affluent readership. A header announces Life's printing services. The "Scissors at Nulls" heading and hymn parody appear to reference religious hypocrisy or performance, though exact context is unclear from the visible text.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
‘ EFPE= SeGGRS AT WLLs GF ELCOME, sweet day of rest, That saw the Lord arise; Welcome to this reviving breast, And these rejoicing eyes.” and As Sung By Our Choir. ** Waw-kaw, swaw, daw aw waw, ‘Thaw saw, thaw law aw waw, Waw-kaw, taw, thaw raw-vaw-vaw baw Aw thaw raw-jaw-saw aw."—Argonaut. “cs A FORGETFUL BOY. During the election excitement in New York, Mr. Gentry’s son came home late in the evening. “Were you down in Printing House Square?” asked Mr. Gentry, excitedly. “Yes.” “What was Cleveland's majority on the Sun's bulletin board 7" “I—I—forget how much it was,” replied the youth. “You forget it, do you ?” replied the irate parent. ‘If you are such a miserable, stupid, addle-pated ass that you can't re- member the figures, why do n’t you write them down as I do?"— Texas Siftings. 321 THE Current of last weck makes the astonishing announce- ment that ‘‘Oscar Wilde writes all his poems on an empty stomach ;" and then adds, somewhat pathetically, that “the laborer is worthy of his hire." The question we are moved to ask is: What is the matter with English stationery ?—Sat. Eve. Herald, WHAT MADE THE JANITOR PALE. JANiTOR (to his wife, who has hung the water pail on the gas jet)—" Bridget, me darlin’, did Mr. Levystraus tell ye to put this pail on the gas?” Bridget—‘‘ No, Pat; but he was afthur sayin’ that ¢he gas was laking shure !” ON THE HORSE CAR. “Is that brake. hard to handle?’ asked a young man on the | front platform of a Broadway car, of the driver, “No,” responded that person. “Ts that whistle hard to blow?" again interrogated the youth, “«No," gruffly responded the driver. ** What is the hardest thing to do on a street car?” “ Answering fool questions,” replied the driver.—Drake's Trav eller's Magazine, “Now, then,” said a Sunday-school teacher, who was trying to explain a miracle to her class, “how do you account for Peter being able to walk on the surface of the water?” ‘I know!” said a little bright-eyed boy, whose father lost a limb at the si of Vicksburg.‘ Well, how do you account for,Peter’s walking onthe water?” “He had cork legs and they wouldn't let him sink,” said the little fellow, triumphantly.— Waterbury American. Cus MAN: Yes, old chappie, Turkey red is an appropriate hue for you to decorate the town with on Thanksgiving night.— Philadelphia News. THE PUBLISHERS OF LIFE OF AN ARTISTIC ORDER. OFFER UNUSUAL ADVANTAGES TO THOSE WHO PROPOSE ISSUING ILLUSTRATED Booxs, PAMPHLETS, CATALOGUES, CIRCULARS, ETC., AND WHO DESIRE WORK ESTIMATES GIVEN, AND BOTH TEXT AND ILLUSTRATIONS FURNISHED IF DESIRED, DARK DAYS. AUTHOR OF CALLED BACK. HucGu Conway, (F. J. Fargus.) Leisure Hour Series, $1.00; BY THE 16mo, Leisure Moment Series, 25 cents. THIS NOVEL IS MORE INGENIOUS THAN, AND AS INTERESTING AS, “CALLED BACK," which is published in same series and at same prices, These are the only | AUTHORIZED editions of Mr. Fargus’s books. | lish Styles. HENRY HOLT & CO., New York. | SOR MER e BOUEy,. COLGATE & CO. * * TOILET. gOb°: Color—white. Quality—absolutely pure. Washing properties—unsurpassed. Perfume—novel & exceptionally strong. With the tasteful and refined it is the most popular of all superfine toilet soaps. will use, the least barmful baile removes Me, MB TsO) Yor sale ‘dase fmitat che eelling the'ounee ALFRED T. CARROLL, Tailor and Importer, 166 SIXTH AVENUE, NEW YORK. Invites attention to a new and select stock of unusually choice fabrics, for Gentlemen's Promenade and Evening Dress. Riding Costumes and Livery Outfits in Eng- A SKIN OP BEAJ fY 18 AJOY POREVER. Goaraed A Sayre, aald to a lady of tho fhdied wh amo thee will lest six months, ust im Preparations.’ it . Also Poudre sites a peel 1 Droggists Goods India Gherkins, Martynias, Onions, &c. Sold by all First Class Grocers. THE GENUINE | FRANK B.CONVERSE THE FRANK B. CONVERSE Banjo Instruction and Salesroom, 61 West 42d Street, New York. OUR SPECIALTIES. Ricury Bourn anv Itiustratep Girt Booxs STANDARD AND MiscetLangous LiTRRATURE. Stationery ror Fasmionaste Society. Wepoinc, Recertion anv Visitixc Carns. Picrortat ExGravinc On Sree. Pirates. GEO. R. LOCKWOOD & SON, "any Publishers, Booksellers, Stationers & Engravers 812 Broadway, New York. comicbooks.com