Life — November 13, 1884 — page 4: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

® OTICE to Contributors.—In sending in Political Matter please address, Waste Basket, Office of Lire, N. Y. * * Ps R. RHINELANDER, according to an esteemed con- temporary, has been “ bailed out.” Are we to understand from this that Mr. R. is a prohibi- tionist ? * * * OST: On election day, a Small Brass Crank. Very small, very brassy and very cranky, and of no use to any one but its present owner, the undersigned. Answers to the name of C. A. D-na. The finder will be promised liberal reward on return to B. F, BUTLER, : SuN office, N. Y. . . . TO THE PEOPLE OF THE UNITED STATES. Proclamation. E the undersigned wish it to be distinctly understood V was loaded. B. F. Butler, Laboring Man's Friend. John John St. John, Ante-Demé- Fohn. Belva A. Lockwood, Mother Hubbard Party. . * . T is said that when Logan heard the news from his State he turned to Blaine and said “ Jim, d'yer hear that | noise?” “What noise?” replied the Plumed Knight.“ Illi-noise,” yelled Jack thereby scoring forty-seven points and an ace on the unsuspecting magnet. . . « HE Pope is to create eight new Cardinals at once. They come cheaper in quantities. * * . NXIOUS Enquirer is informed that Mr. Wm. stone is not meant When the Franchise mentioned. . . . N the literary prize-fight ‘twixt Mr. De Kay and Mr. Faw- cett, it would seem that Mr. Fawcett ought to get first blood. According to Webster a Fawcett is a small apparatus for drawing liquor. . . . HAT an unfortunate error was that of the telegraph operator who when Mr. St. John sent word to a friend that the battle was won made him say: “ The bottle is ours.” that we were “only foolin’” and hadn't an idea it | . Glad- | Bill” is FABLES FOR THE TIMES. THE BRILLIANT RACCOON. N old coon, being very sick with a combination of cere- bro-spinal meningitis and pleuro-pneumonia, sum- moned his friends and consulted them as to the best remedy to try. Each recommended a separate and distinct medi- | cine, and the old coon, in order to made a sure thing of it, | took all the remedies suggested, and soon died in convul- sions. i MorAt :—This Fable teaches that it is hard for a candi- date to be elected to the Presidency who runs as the simulta- neous nominee of fifteen political parties. . . . THE GIFTED RABBIT. SMART Rabbit, who was greatly annoyed by a Flea, sought to get rid of his tormentor by immersing his whole body in a bucket of tar. The Flea was effectually sup- pressed, but the Rabbit looked so much like a ward bummer | for six months afterwards that no one would laugh at his jokes. MoRAL :—Don't try to stop a gimlet-hole with a gate- a A BROKEN SILENCE WHICH IS NOT GOLDEN. ANY popular songs have been written by Samuel K. Cowan, well-known among which is “ Old Love Let- ters” set to music by Sir Arthur Sullivan. A popular song, how- ever, isa very tame affair caged in a green-and-gold volume, like ordinary poetry. Mr. Cowan has, however, run the risk of collecting a number of his stray songs and ballads into a vollume called “ A Broken Silence.” It is with regret that we record that the silence was fractured for the sake of such lines as : “Oh, must her face—her gentle voice— Be unto me like joys afar? Her voice, the music of a dream— Her face a reachless star?” . . . HERE is a great deal of this sort of agony in the volume which is trying on the nerves but not quite so exhaust- | ing to faith and imagination as one of the narrative poems, called “In the Old Canteen,” where a credulous and sympa- thizing public is asked to believe the story of an old soldier that at Lucknow he suddenly found himself in imminent peril; on one side was a Sepoy with a rifle; on the other a Sepoy with a hatchet. The former fired and the bullet struck the Bible, in the old soldier's pocket, which his mother gave him.— “ And the bullet bounded off it, and before the blow was given, Split the hatchet, ripped the Sepoy ! it’s as true as God's | in Heaven.” comicbooks.com