Life — October 30, 1884 — page 7: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

- LIFE: hiding does not avail him. Rudely is he drawn out by the ear by the dancing master, and put into a row with the awkward squad to learn to bow and to hop in the air. How mortifying it is to the First Base of the Eagle Base-ball Club to be put into a row of smaller boys, while that long-legged Frenchman makes him jump in time with the squeaking of the fiddle. Over in the corner, as he turns out his toe and with his fin- gers on the seam of his trowsers and bows gracefully, he sees that muff, Johnny Sears, whose face he rubbed with snow at school in the morning, laughing at him. All the girls think that Johnny is charming, for he dances the poika-redouwa beauti- fully, and has “secrets” which he tells them. Johnny al- ways dances with the prettiest girls, and never treads on their toes, and all the mothers are loud in their praises of his nice manners and neat appearance. But the “awkward squad,” to a boy, think that Johnny is no better than a girl; he can not catch a base-ball, nor play hookey, nor climb a tree. At school he brings presents of fruit to the teacher, and he told on Sam Train, when that young desperado put assafcetida in the stove. Out on him! After this squad drill comes the dread ordeal of dancing with a girl. The square dances are hard enough to endure, with their everlasting bowing and turning of corners, but’ the round dances! He is led to a partner, who knows the boy to be an unwilling victim ; the music starts up and round about the hall go the couple in disregard of time or the other dancers. A grown boy is a creature of grace and ease in comparison with this. It never enters the boy’s head to re- verse, or to refrain from treading on the little girl’s toes. At last breathless, they bump against a heavier couple and fall on the polished floor with a crash. Then comes the german, in which our boy has to dance with the little girl with freckles and red hair, who has the reputation of biting her partners, when she does not like them. Johnny THE AWKWARD SQUAD. Sears leads! His pale, pasty face is bright with the triumph of his dignified position ; none of the girls take our boy out in the mazy dance ; why should they? He is wont to answer their art- less prattle with curt speech and to dance with them in the man- ner I have described. When his turn comes, he dances with his partner, fearful lest she plant her sharp, white teeth in his arm. He feels that the maidens he dances with, do not ap- preciate the german, even his “girl,” who made him the purple and white cap, which he wears when on the canvas- calves, and other freaks of nature. 245 bag at first base, calls him clumsy, and prefers Johnny Sears. Slow pass the hours. There is but one bright thought in his brooding brain ; the mixed-up over-shoes and the distraction which will ensue. THE LADIES’ MAN, After enjoying this, at the close of school, he goes home, only to discover that the boys from the other side of the town have made a foray, and destroyed the snow house, in which you could live and where there was a real seat made of ice, very cool and comfortable. COURTING. ’ IS the popular thing To play at lawn-tennis, As a lure to the ring, ‘Tis the popular thing— When Love’s little wing Round maidens and men is, ‘Tis the popular thing To play at lawn-tennis. THE BUTLER SIDE SHOW. OSSIBLY the most attractive part of a well organized Circus is the ever present side show, where are exhibit- ed such monstrosities as, four legged chickens, two headed Perhaps the Circus of Great Moral Ideas, now occupying the attention of the coun- try, could have no better manager for their side show, and no more monstrous Political monstrosity to exhibit than the great and only Benjamin F. Butler of Massachusetts. He has sole management of the Wild Man of Printing House Square,supposed to be from Borneo,and who was known several years ago as the prize Albino of Newspaper Row. To top off his exhibition, he will delight Prohibitionists and others similarly inclined, by his Herculean contest with imag- inary snakes, as well as the living, writhing, reptile monopoly, having been identified with which for many years, the General alone is fitted to cope. Step right up, gentlemen. free. Admission one vote. Children comicbooks.com