Life, 1884-10-02 · page 11 of 16
Life — October 2, 1884 — page 11: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
# Page 193 of Life Magazine This page contains two distinct satirical pieces: **"Campaign Anecdote"** (top right) mocks Major Blaine's presidential campaign. The joke: when Blaine worries that Fisher's recent letters damage his candidacy, his advisor suggests burning Blaine's own published record (Document 41144) to "knock the spots out" of it—implying his record is so damaging it's beyond repair. The anecdote's punchline is that this explains why Blaine left New York hastily, suggesting he actually attempted this absurd cover-up. **The cartoon** (left) appears to be a logic puzzle illustrated with a woman and child, playing on the definition of animals by leg count—a quadruped has four legs, a biped has two, therefore a snake (with no legs) must be a "stomach-ped." It's a children's wordplay joke. The remaining text includes light verse and observations. The overall page reflects *Life* magazine's typical mix of political satire, humor, and whimsical poetry from the Gilded Age.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
No. 1. (with book): CALLED ? No. I1.: No. 1. No. I. No. 1. BEss A QUADRUPED. YES. THEN WHAT'S A SNAKE? A stomach-ped? which contains the lost literature of the mind, is also a picture gallery wherein photographs of our loved ones are preserved, together with images of such objects as excited the affections ons ago. When these images are blended into a generic whole, it is only by exercising the visualising instinct, whose range, Francis Galton says, lies between perfection and nothingness, that the soul selects the portrait of its counter- part with which it must enter into close affinity before it can realize the thing we call love!” Stooping over to shake a little green worm from the hem | of Sybil’s lustrous robe of mauve satin, Adelbert continued with an effort of self composure, while the nightingales stopped | their singing to listen to the sweet cadences of his rich voice. “ The visualising instinct is rare in such poetic natures as | mine. In a sacramental calm, like a sensitive musical instru- ment which vibrates at the slightest touch, my soul is ev rap- | AND A CREATURE WITH fwvo LEGS IS A BIPED ? 193 CAMPAIGN ANECDOTE. 6“ SEE Stephen,” remarked Major Blaine to Mr. Elkins, “that a great many people think that these last Fisher letters knock spots out of my chances for the Presidency. Now couldn't we get up something to knock the spots out of my record and in that way make things even again?” “'Fraid not, James. We have n't got enough soap, and lie isn't a very strong clement in influencing votes.” “Well, is there no other way?" re- marked the candidate, picking up his rec- ord published as Document No. 41144. “H'm,” said E thoughtfully taking the paper from his leader. “ We might, we might—" “ Might what?” “Burn this!" This accounts for Mr. Blaine’s short stay in New York. Goop men like fine watches, may be known by their works. AT THE EDGE OF A SHOWER. ROM the curtains of gray and of gold, From the vaporous regions of cloud, A delicate jewel was rolled, Like a diamond out of a shroud. And I—who was there with the crowd, Without an umbrella—suppose That the maid of the mist was allowed To weep on the end of my nose. Cc. H.L. A MOSQUITO is like a theatre—it has wings and flies. port with the sweet influences of the present and the dreamy past. But ere my heart-strings cease to vibrate with the music of unheard symphonies exerted by fair women in the long ago, whose memory now agitates my soul, the low-voiced ac- cents of another—it may be the silent influences of your own sweet face, sweeps the tender chords; and mirabsle dictu ! the melodic phrases of the soul are blurred, until they become an inharmonious cacophony of vague sounds; and one by one the ideals which I vainly consider a part of my existence and weave into the fabric of my dreams, fade away and leave me naught but sad thoughts and a dreary emptiness of feeling— a phantasmal desolation which prefigures the eclipse of love.” Adelbert, swaying with emotion, let his head fall between his knees and gave vent to his grief in a sonata appasstonata of sobs and sighs. The skeleton eye-glasses, which were lightly perched on his comicbooks.com