Life, 1884-07-31 · page 11 of 16
Life — July 31, 1884 — page 11: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
# Life Magazine Page 67: Two Satirical Pieces **"A Generous Dose"** (top): A comedic Irish dialect story where a servant girl, Susan, accidentally eats her employer's laxative pills (from Carlsbad spa treatments—known digestive aids), believing the white residue in the saucer was cream and sugar for tea. The humor relies on the servant's malapropism ("hookleberries") and the embarrassing misunderstanding. **"Sportive Widower"** (illustration): Shows a drunk man praising his clock over a wife, joking that the later he returns home intoxicated, the less noise the clock makes—implying wives complain about late arrivals while clocks remain silent. The satire targets male irresponsibility and domestic complaint. **"Custom-Made Society"** (brief note): References James G. Blaine (likely 1884 presidential candidate), predicting the press will hound him with questions about "Peruvian bark"—possibly referencing scandal or dubious business dealings.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
| | | | ‘A GENEROUS DOSE. «6¢ QUSAN,” said old bachelor Beans, as the servant entered -the room in response to his bell, “where are those little black pills that I had?” “Phat pills, sor?” asked the chambermaid, with an expression indicative of absolute innocence and ignorance. ‘Sure, J haven't seen no pills, sor.” “They were small and black,” said Beans, in an impressively severe manner. “There was almost a handful of them. The box broke in my pocket, and I put them here on the mantel-piece, this very morn- ing.” “Was they in a saucer, sor?” Susan asked quickly. “They were,” said Beans, “In asaucer, on the. mantel-piece by the clock.” “Howly mother 0’ Moses!” she yelled, “I’m a dead gurrel, sure. I found some crame an’ sugar on the table, an’ I ate thim out o’ the saucer wid a tay-shpoon. ‘I thought they was hooklebirries.” CARLSBAD. CusTOM-MADE—society. IF Blaine is nominated, we sup- pose the curs-ed hirelings of the press will dog his footsteps, and hound him with questions whose purp-ort will be, “Did you ever hear Peruvian bark ?” i AWS sa? Sportive Widower: HOW MUCH BETTER Y’ ARE THAN A WIFE, OLD CLOCKEY! THE SMALLER THE HOUR A (HIC) FELLER GOES OME THE LESS NOISE YOU MAKE 'BOUT (HIC) IT. “ Pud up de chips,” said the Rev. Mr. THANKFUL SMITH, throwing the paper back with the calmness which goes with power. Mr. WILLIAMS sullenly complied, and parted with his last stack. Prof. BRICK called with an I. O. U. The Rev. Mr. THANKFUL SMITH had two more $1o I. O. Us of Mr. WILLIAMS’. “1 liffs yo’ jess—jess two dollahs, Toor,” he said, extract- ing eight dollars change in chips from the pot as before. “Wha—whadyer take out de chips for?” queried Mr. WILLIAMS, who was growing uneasy. “Change,” said the Rev. Mr. SMITH, sententiously. He now had all the chips but one dollar, and the pot consisted entirely of paper, with the exception of that dollar. Mr. WHIFFLES wrote out another I. O, U. and called. So did Mr. WILLIAMS. Everybody now drew three cards. Mr. WILLIAMS had no chips, and bet a $10 I. O. U. Prof. BRICK called. The Rev. Mr. SMITH had a $6 I. O. U. of Mr. WILLIAMS’, one for $3 of Mr. WHIFFLES’, and one for $2 from Prof. BRICK. He threw them into the pot, taking therefrom its last dollar in chips. “Wha—whadyer took dat dollah outen de pot for?” queried Mr. WILLIAMS again, desperately. “Change,” said the Rev. Mr. SMITH. Mr. WHIFFLES called. On the showdown, Mr. WILLIAMs exhibited three jacks and got the pot, which he drew in with an air of sullen sad- ness singular in a victor. The Rev. Mr. SMITH yawned, shoved his pile across the table, and said he guessed he’d go home. comicbooks.com