Life — July 24, 1884 — page 4: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

46 CAMPAIGN CHORUS.: SUNG WITH GREAT EFFECT IN MASSACHUSETTS. Blainists— “Here we are, and here we goes, . We are the fellows what gets in the blows.” Independents— “And we are the fellows that turn on the hose.” Goop name for a Western church after a tornado—St. Rufus. “FACILE decensus Third Avenue,” muttered the school- boy, as he slid on the ice into the Bowery and his books flew in all directions. In Dr. Smith’s History of Greece we are told that the Spar- tan boys were “so inured to privation that they wore but one garment winter and summer.” A clothing house upon Broadway displays a large sign, reading, “ Pants exclusively.” Does this indicate a return to the Spartan custom? And if so, does it not show that the growth of luxury, which our eth- ical teachers so much lament, has, at last, been somewhat checked ? * LIFE: CAMPAIGN ANECDOTE. HORTLY after Mr. Blaine was nominated, he called ona friend in Washington and found him very much worked up over a new arrival in the family, which, in deference to the honors lately conferred upon the illustrious battery, was named James G. Blaine Jones. Mr. Blaine was a constant visitor at the house for several weeks after this event, until one unfor- tunate afternoon he called there and found all the family out, except the baby and his little brother. “Hello, Blaine,” said the youngster. “I’m darned glad you came. I’m tired playin’ with the kid. Just give the cra- dle a Little Rock, won't yer?” Mr. Blaine does not often lose his temper, but, there being only one vote in the family, he gave himself over to anger, and after wreaking his vengeance on all within reach, he left the house forever. If the child recovers, he will be re-christened Stephen Gro- ver Cleveland Jones. Mary ANDERSON has been captivated by the Prince of Wales. She has written to say that she quite likes the sun and air of Britain. A coup de grass—that given by the lawn mower. “DO COME AGAIN SOON.” 73 ON ’T you really take off your gloves?” asked Miss Brown, by way of conversation. ‘“Aw—thanks, no,” replied Pilkins. “I ’ve got to go in a minute.” “Thank Heavens!” said the young lady to herself. ‘“He’s been here a full hour and has n’t said one word.” An inspiration struck her, and she walked over to a side table. “Oh, Mr. Pilkins,” she said, returning with a paper inher hand. “Have you seen last week’s LIFE?” “Ye-es,” answered Pilkins. “ They brought that out at the last three places I’ve been to.” “Oh, dear!” sighed the young lady as she resumed her seat in despair. “Did you go to the dog show last winter ?” she asked after a ten minutes pause, during COMPETITION. Lord ——: YAAS, BUT THERE IS NO ROMANCE OR ANYTHING OVER HEAH. WHY, ON MY UNCLE’S ESTATE IN SCOTLAND, THERE IS A HOUSE THAT HAS BEEN HAUNTED FOR OVER FOUR HUN- DRED YEARS BY SIR GREGORY'S CURSE—NOTHING LIKE THAT OVER HEAH! ™~ Mr. —: OH, YEs! THERE 1s McComs’s Dam, which he had studiously regarded the car- pet. “Yes,” answered Pilkins. “Why, I didn’t know you were there,” she said, and then added absent-mindedly— “but then, how couldI? I didn’t have a catalogue. The silence was again broken only by his saying—“ Really, I must be running up town, Miss Brown. Had an awfilly jolly call, I ’sure you.” ANTIQUITY OR comichooks.colm