Life — June 26, 1884 — page 13: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

- LIFE * “Still,” said Mr. Butler, ‘it has its advantages! I can see both sides of a controversy at once, and there ain’t a man-living can tell which side I’m on. That scoops the independent vote ! “ Do you really think the Democrats will thrust the nomina- tion on you?” I asked, “Well, if they don’t choose some one else, I think they are sure to light on me. I have a theory, that of alternation, that I'm thecoming man. You see they want the right man for the place! Now you may remember that last year I was the ‘left man’ in this State! Perhaps you may catch my drift?” “I do, but suppose you slip up on the nomination ?” “Run for Governor !” “In case you do n’t get that ?” “ Mayor of Boston ?” “Isn't the present Mayor a good one ?” ‘Alderman !” “Yes, but—’ “Tax Commissioner !” “ But the Commissioners of Taxes hold over, do n’t they ?” “True. Well, then I'll run for the—” “What !” ‘Salt River boat! It’s a cold day when I don’t run for some- thing.” Mr. Butler was at this point called away to receive a nomina- tion from the Reform Prohibitionists on a platform holding a temperance plank for six days of the week, and another provid- ing for a good old-fashioned convivium on Sunday. It is needless to say he accepted, and while he was doing so I withdrew. CARLYLE SMITH. RENDER: VNTO SCISSORS THOSE THINGS WHICH ARE 5CIS$ORS + A DELEGATE returning from the late Chicago convention sings this pathetic song : ‘The joliiest man in the crew, As the train o’er the gleaming rails flew, Was brilliant and young, With a double-geared tongue— A drummer from Kalamazoo, —St. Paul Sunday Herald. —I HEAR that Blaine will get some of the Irish vote. How is that, Paddy 2” “He'll not get moine, I'd niver vote for a man that went back on a Mulligan.” “Are you a Republican or a Democrat ?” “Tm an Oirishman, an’ the Mulligans is me mayternal cuzzens on me fayther’s side.—Brooklyn Eagle. BLAINE'S LUCKY STROKE. First PUBLISHER—‘“ The best thing Blaine ever did for his party was in writing a book.” Second Publisher—‘‘ How do you make that out ?” “Why, you know that authors always stick to one another.” “Yes, I have noticed they are somewhat clannish.” «Well, that makes Republican success assured.” “ How in creation do you figure that ?” “Easy enough, All the authors of ‘The Bread Winners’ will vote for him.”—Phila, Eve. Call. “DEAR me, what bold creatures,” exclaimed Mrs, Blimber after reading an announcement that fifteen Massachusetts girls were about to undertake a pedestrian tour through the Adirondacks, I should think they'd be afraid of tramps.” ‘That shows your ignorance, Sarah,” said Mr. Blimber. ‘When a man meets a Massachusetts girl, it's always the man who is afraid." —Brooklyn Eagle. HENRY HOLT & CO. HAVE JUST READY The Mistress of Ibichstein, x6mo, Leisure Hour Series, $1.00; Leisure Moment Series, 30 cents. No one can furnish GRADY & McKEEVER, LATE RENNER & COMPANY, . DEALERS 18 Merchant Tailors By Fr. HENKEL._ Translated by I. E. Boccs. F I N E AR T s ° Designers and Manufacturers ot EVERY DESCRIPTION OF PICTURE FRAMES, No. 719 SIXTH AVE., New York. Opposite 5th Ave. Hotel, NEW YORK. FACTORY, 218 W. 42d STREET. Cavanagh, Sanford & Co., and Importers, 16 West 23d STREET, All the latest London Fabrics regularly imported. “Old Crow” Rye Sour-Mash Whiskey unless purchased from us. We have taken every barrel made since Fanuary, 1872, We have also HERMIT- AGE three to seven years old, all sold absolutely pure, uncolored, unsweetened. H. B. KIRK & CO., 69 Fulton St. & Broadway and 27th St. GEORGE MATHER’S SONS, PRINTING [NK, 60 Joun St., NEw York. This taper is printed with our cut ink, THE OSS'S ALA We gre MANUFACTORY BELFAST IRELAND *A'N ‘Aempeorg z& ‘ssOu ‘H AUNTH Jab