Life — May 22, 1884 — page 11: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

GINS By y THE NATIONAL MASTODONS. THE NATIONAL MASTODONS., HIS performance was the greatest show on earth. The traditional cork of the minstrel was omitted. The records of some of the performers and successful smirching of others by the Press rendered cork unnecessary. The programme was varied in the extreme, comprising many new features. The music was especially fine. Mr. Cold Day Tilden rendered ‘‘ Box is empty, Ballot’s gone” with much effect. Mr. Sun-Struck Holman amused the audience with his original ballad, “Oh, Dana, How Could You?” Mr. Blaine threw much soul and expression into a medley of the Mulligan series, and for an encore gave an exhibition of Political Jugglery, in which the ex-Secretary is an adept. Ex-Gov. Butler's by-play and song, ‘‘ Holding the Silver Tops Fast by the Hair,” created some amusement. Mr. Butler failed to receive an encore, how- ever, The others acquitted themselves equally as well, especially Mr. Carlisle, whose conundrum, ‘‘ What is Tariff,” stumped everyone, including himself. The programme was brought to an abrupt close by Mr. Blaine, who propounded the conundrum : “‘Whad’s de diffunce between Brudder Tambo Butler and de cyurly-headed Brudder Bones Conkling ?” “One is Ben and de udder Aas been !” squealed Tilden. Tilden was counted out, ‘*Dat’s not de answer !” said Blaine. ‘‘ We gibs it up,” said Mr. Middleman Grant, “Why, Ben's a cock-eye Turk, an’ Conk's a Turkeye-cock,” replied Blaine, amid roars of laughter. Mr. Conkling endeavored to open a debate with a razor, but was prevented. He consoled himself with resigning from the company and declining to join Mr. Blaine in their advertised duet, ‘We are Two Jolly Brothers.” Mr. In response to repeated calls from the audience, however, he consented to sing ‘‘ We Never Speak as We Pass By” with Mr. Blaine, and the curtain was rung down upon the ensuing confusion. The ensemble was capital, as taking them altogether there is enough of good quality in the performers to make one fairly respectable actor, but also enough of bad to run a successful penitentiary. Unfortunately, the popular tastes lead to a unification of the good and absence of the bad in a single performer. It is there- fore safe to assume that the engagements at the White House Star Theatre for the coming season will not include any of the above gentlemen, CARLYLE SMITH. Tue longest reign in history.—The deluge. AppoinT of honor—Civil Service Reform. Multum in parvo—a woman's tongue. “Marie Le Brun ”’—The Black Maria. AN. EXHORTATION TO SOLEMNITY. O THE Epiror oF Lire. Fellow Worm; J have seen a copy of your jour- nal, dated February 7, and, although it was mainly characterized by levity, yet it contained one illustra- tion (see p. 77) which has proved so eminently profita- ble to me that I am moved to address you. This illustration represents a godly pair engaged in the consideration of the ‘Saints’ Rest,” of Baxter, as one of the pleasures of their Sabbath. You very properly designate such people as “saintly spirits,” and this comicbooks.com