Life — March 20, 1884 — page 13: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

- LI to believe that any brain but his own conceived the advertise- ments which have appeared recently in the daily papers. These advertisements are simply irresistible. They.are cannonading by means of the vocabulary, words“USéd with prodigious liberality and destructiveness. Match this, if you can: ‘Royally and transcendentally magnificent opening of the fourth year of the great and mighty compact uniting nine monster shows. Nine monster, massive, and colossal shows in one, and each: show increased to astounding proportions.” Bigness goes for every- thing in these advertisements, which are therefore, fairly propor- tioned to the ‘‘ greatest show on earth” itself. The show is certainly arranged with unlimited enterprise. The long and ample Madison Square Garden contains three rings, and a platform for expert roller skaters. Four perform- ances are given simultaneously, which leave a broad margin for individual taste. There is a regiment of clowns—fat and lean, small and full, and one dude. dude. The baby elephant, Jumbo, is, I feel confident, the most brilliant personage in Mr. Barnum’s company. He isa singularly graceful, courteous, and well-bred performer. His most success- ful rival seems to be a fashionably dressed pig, who is driven in are not chiefly‘elephants and pigs. There are many young women in satin and spangles, and there is a fine array of men with startling muscular development, Well, Ihave been to the circus, and I am in a mood to hear some one sing ‘‘ The Old Oaken Bucket,” which bucket belonged to the golden era of stolei hours and fragrant sawdust. G. E. M. Mr. Barnum could not resist the | FE - RENDER VNTO $CI§SOR$ THOSE THINGS WHICH ARE SCISSORS - A TIGHT place—a saloon.— Temperance Advocate. ROSEBUD dinner parties are all the rage. The rosebuds make the din, not the dinner.—Philadelphia Call, I7 is one of the inconsistencies of life that-we throw bouquets at the soprano and bootjacks at the tom cat.—Boston Gazette. A GForGIA paper tells of a daddy who listened for two hours while his daughter and her dudelet occupied one corner of the sofa, and this was the sole conversation: He—‘'If lovie die, what ud dovie do?” She—" Dovie die, too." —Loussville Courier-Fournal. Tuey were taking in the art emporium, when little Nell called her mother's attention to a figure of Venus de Milo. “©O, mamma! how I pity that beautiful woman !”” “Why, Nellie?” asked the astonished mother. “Don’t you see, mamma? She’s all broken up.”—London Times. A LECTURER on the Indians says there are no swear words in the Indian language. They are not necessary. If an Indian can’t do justice to his feeling when he kicks a hat with a brick in it by making use of an eight cornered, barbed wire sort of a word found in his own language he deserves to suffer the tortures of the condemned for a one of the rings by a skillful monkey. However, the performers | SPAC¢ of petiod.—Norristown Herald. A WRITER in the London Truth cries down the wearing by ladies of their hats in public halls, on account of their size. And this recalls to the editor a story of Pére Bateman. He had an assertive head of hair that stuck up like ‘quills upon the fretful porcupine.” One day he came into a place of amusement with his hat on. Some one behind him tapped him on the shoulder.“ Oblige me, sir, by taking off your hat.” Off went Bateman’s hat, and up went the hair like a Jack-in-the- box. So there was another tap on the shoulder. ‘Thank you, sir. Very much obliged. 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