Life — March 6, 1884 — page 13: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

me) 3 Sag bodily to the fourth story, dropping him out of the window, and then drinking nine iced lemonades with- out sticks. A daisy rheumatism, so to speak, is found in the green sward, if the applicant will turn out to lie—on the grass in December. Short-breathed persons can get a good, substantial rheumatism by processionizing on each centennial of Evacuation Day, which usually occurs on a rainy 24th of November. As there is nothing particularly funny about rheu- matism, it will be dropped here, with the reminder that it is “fun for the druggist but hardly for the patient.” Frep. C. VALENTINE. LINES <= Fee RENDER: VNTO $CIS$SOR$ THOSE THINGS WHICH ARE SCISSORS - “ELLA” wants to know if we can tell her what the Knights of the Bath are? Usually Saturday nights, dear.—Burlington Free Press. ‘On, dear!” exclaimed Miss Flight, “‘ how dizzy Iam ! my head spins round like a top.” ‘A very happy simile,” remarked Fogg; “for everybody's head, you know, is atop.—Boston Transcript. IT is reported that amateur theatricals are becoming so popular that a theatre designed especially for that purpose will be erected in this city next season. It ought to be called ‘The Langtry.”—Darly Graphic. THE MEANNESS OF THE LONG ISLAND POLICE, **SURE, man, your police take the biscuit for meanness,” said Bryan | McSwyny, O'Leary's bootmaker, to a friend from Long Island City. NOT BY A PROHIBITIONIST. F it be as we are told, “In vino veritas,” He should n’t be blamed Who taketh a glass. For who should be blamed When perhaps, forsooth, He’s only engaged In seeking the truth. reply.—V. ¥. Sun. “How do you make it out, Bryan!” asked the Long Island man. “Sure, man, didn’t they take a Rugg from a church!” was the Two old negroes become acquainted in a way that shames formality. | Meeting for the first time, they look at each other. | so the other can hear him : | Doan’ belebe I knows dat man, but his face is mighty ’miliar.” ‘Then the other one says : | place him. ‘Howdy do, generman ?” “Porely ; how is it wid_yesse’f ?” ‘+ Porely, thank yer. “On de Pryor place. “ On de Avery place. ‘Then one remarks “Seed dat man somewhar, but I kain't Whar does yer lib ?” ‘Whar does yerse'f ’2i How's all yer folks ?” » “ Porely, thank yer ; how’s all wid yesse'f ?” Every inch a-ching—A man the day after he first puts on skates. A (NOT QUITE HARMONIOUS) SYMPOSIUM OF CRITICS. From The Critic and Good Literature’s notice of A Larrer Day Saint: “ When a story so worthless in all respects as A LATTER DAY SAINT appears with the imprint of reputable publishers, one hesitates whether to ignore or to denounce it. The book is not only naughty, but poor ; not only wicked, but silly ; not only unjust and unjustifiable, but uninteresting ; not only bad, but stupid. The critic who is obliged to read a novel of Zola’s does not feel himself seriously contaminated. But the reader of A LATTER DAY SAINT feels contaminated through and | through with the low, petty, mean, base views of life that tt presents. You may throw the book into the fire, but you cannot shake the dust of it from your soul.” From the Nation’s notice of the same book : “ Opens happily a new series of American novels. Utters philosophy and sarcasm with a piquancy and good temper which recalls Thackeray's lighter manner without echoing it. The amusement afforded by the frank recital of a career glorious or inglorious, according to the point of view, ts heightened in that of the conversation.” From the N. Y. Tribune’s notice of the same book : “Tt is deftly put together, its points are well made, and its implied satire ts good. The cold and debased glitter which becomes such a story and such a heroine is well preserved throughout. There is not a little art in the consist- ency with which Ethel’s heart of stone and forehead of brass are kept to the “HENRY HOLT & CO, Pubuishers, N. Y. “«Porely, 'bleeged ter yer.” After this they are old acquaintances, and never fail to greet each other as friends.—Detrott Free Press. WALL PAPER. |i and Beautify your Homes, Offices, &c. Quaint, RARE AND Curtous Papers BY EMINENT DECORATIVE ARTISTS. Close Figures given on Large Contracts. | If youintend to sell your house, paper it, as it will bring from $2000 to $3000 more after having been Papered. Samples and Book on Decorations mailed free. H. BARTHOLOMAE & CO., MAKERS AND IMPORTERS, 124 & 126 W. 33D Sr., (near B’way,) N. Y. Common Sense Binder FOR BINDING ‘LIFE: Cheap, Strong and Durable, Will hold 26 numbers. Mailed to any part of the United States for $1. Address, office of ‘' LIFE,” 1155 BROADWAY, NEW YORK. comicbooks.com