Life — February 7, 1884 — page 11: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

EE HE following device, designed by our special railway engineer, will be found vastly superior to the double track method of collision employed on most roads now operated in this country. E (see accompanying plate) is the accommodation train—let us say for Morristown, New Jersey—and moving at the rate of 20 miles an hour. F is the lim- ited theatrical express, conveying excited persons to— let us say Orange, N. J., to see the Romance of a Poor Young Man. It is behind time, and is moving at the rate of 58 miles anhour. By the old system, it will be at once seen, a collision and a coroner’s jury would be Pa 81 HE terror which has struck to the heart of France on hearing that twenty-seven citizens of Green- burg, Pa., met on the 29th and formed a secret brother- hood resolved not to buy French goods until the em- bargo on pork is removed, can only be equaled by the humiliation of Great Britain over the terrible news that Henry Irving will not be received socially. in Milwaukee if he goes there. He is not going, but the fact remains that Milwaukee society will have none of him. We may be a people slow to wrath and ven- geance, but, once moved, our vendetta is curdling. PRECIPE for Cypriote Glue: Take one verbal com- mission in the United States Army, given for ser- vices never rendered, dissolve in one quart of tears of Trustees of the Metropolitan Museum, filter, and sim- mer one-third. Add an Italian title, or, if this may not be genuine, two cubic feet of wind, and apply im- mediately. he inevitable result when train F caught up with train E on the track D. But by the proposed system, train F strikes the inclined platform A BC, and by its momentum, which according to Ohm’s law is inversely as to the square of the distance to Hoboken, and on the well-known principle that the angle of incidents in the next day’s paper is quite equal to the angle of accidents on the road, moves rapidly from A to B, and thence, describing a trajectory, strikes the track D at | a certain point not exactly determined, and arrives in Orange on time. The superior angle of the inclined plane A B being made of vulcanized rubber embedded in a mass of chilled steel springs, the requisite amount of bounce will be given to train F, enabling it to clear the train E without disturbing the gentlemen in train E, who are struggling for a jack-pot in the smoker. Patent applied for, and local rights for sale in Europe, Asia and Milwaukee. PRIZE Prosiem 1n NaviGaTion.—Given: One Devil’s Bridge, one cold captain, one lookout who does n’t look out, a mate who does not compre- hend an order, and a warm state-room ; three light houses, one steamship and 120 passengers ; add a fresh gale and a supply of ignorance or stupidity, or both, sift out the intelligence supposed to exist in every pilot-house, head the steamer for the nearest reef and calculate the result. | and umbrella. mix with | “The water of the holy well at Mecca has been analysed and found to be largely impregnated with foreign substances.”— | London Lancet. The official analysis is given as follows : Bi-borate of Bedouin Oxide of Mahomet. Ferro-cyanide of dirt. Tartrate of camel... Sub-nitrate of backsheesh. Bromide of Turk.... Protiodide of pilgrim. Saracenic acid. Silicate of Sultan. -atrace is proposed to lay the telegraph wires under ground. This appears to be a waste of usefulness. It At present the system serves as a municipal sunshade Now, if only a million or two of the wires running down any one thoroughfare were laid on the surface, they would form a corduroy road of much beauty and strength, which would recommend itself to the praise of every citizen. It is said that the Wes- tern Union, however, is opposed to this plan. The stock finds more moisture higher up. comicbooks.com