Life — September 27, 1883 — page 3: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

VOL. II. SEPTEMBER 27TH, 1883. 1155 Broapway, New York. Published every Thursday, $5 a year in advance, postage free. Single copies, 10 cents. D® MARY WALKER says she will go on the Greely Re- lief Expedition, It can be seen from this that Lieut. Greely is really in great danger. M » HENRY IRVING has already produced an impression upon American citizens, judging by recent words of our esteemed contemporary, the MV. Y. World, which says that in “ Hamlet” he looks as “‘ solemn as a mule in a snow-storm.” e 2 ¢ 2 8 «@ “ I NOTICE it is reported that galvanic action caused the Riverdale explosion. I do not believe it. I have tried galvanism and it won't work."—S. J. 7. OUR highly esteemed contemporary, the Mew York Times, has always modestly undervalued its worth to the reading public, but the red-letter day of its self-depreciation was reached last Tuesday when it sold itself for 2 cents, notwithstanding that intelligent persons would rather pay 10 cents than go without it. Formerly a man with 4 cents in his pocket and content in his heart could buy a Zimes. Now he can buy a 7imes for 2 cents, and keep the other 2 cents—to buy another Zimes. The 2 cent dose of news, sound doctrine and fearless criticism administered by the Zimes seems to become even better than the 4 cent bolus we knew of old—and that is saying enough. e 8 «& HEY were discussing mistaken. identity: “ Hi was ‘avin’ a turn down Pell Mell one harfternoon,” said Mr. Gordon Gordon, “' not doing anythink, when an old gyardsman came hup hand harsked me hif Hi couldn't raise ‘is pension, ‘ Bless me ‘art,’ says I, ‘Hi'm not hin the pension hoffice, me boy.’ ‘ But,’ says 'e, ‘m’ lud Juke, cawn’t you give mea letter to the Ome Secretary? Hi was with your Grace at Waterloo.’ ‘ But Hi’m not the Juke hof Wellington,’ says Hi. But blawst me, the fellow would n’t believe hit, don’t ye see?” “Sacre bleu,” said Monsieur Bienclevée, ‘I know zat myselef. I was once in ze jardang of ze Twilleree, an’ smokeen mon cigarette, wen I pass ze gar of I'Umpr-r-rer Napoleong. To my gt-r-reat constarenayshong ze gar pr-r-resent arm, and give me ze saloo. I tol ze offeesare I was no I'Umpr-r-er, and he seem vare mooch sar-prise.” “Yes, it is very funny,” said Mr. Spriggs. “Why, I was walking the other day down Broadway, and a fellow—ought have known me, too—a fellow came up and slapped me on the back, and says he, ‘ Why, suffering Moses ! when did you get back?’” * 2 THE intelligent detectives now working at Stratford have finally brought their eagle eyes to bear on a mysterious green and white sloop with a captain and crew consisting of one man, This is the most graceful way they can think of, to ac- knowledge that they are all at sea. e 8 ¢& T° a man who goes to the Polar Sea with full knowledge that his expedition, if successful, can do no earthly good to the world, present or future, the intelligent press devotes columns upon columns of praise, and the government is called upon to strain its mighty arm to the utmost that he shall be brought back to the “honors” to which his foolhardiness entitles him, even at the risk of lives more precious than his. The fate of Dr. Thuillet, however, the member of the Pasteur Scientific Mission who died recently in Alexandria while studying Asiatic cholera for the benefit of millions of men, is dismissed with a two line paragraph. There is a poetic justice in this which is refreshing. s 8 ¢@ PRINCE BISMARCK has 17,000 German microscopists to aid him in discovering trichine in American hogs. When a hog is suspected one of his chops is secretly sent to a micro- scopist. If the microscopist lives, the hog is sound. The system gives entire satisfaction to the Prince. on account of the frequency with which the disease is discovered. os 8 @ 66 AN invoice of gloves three feet in length is on the way.”— N.Y. Tribune, St. Louis girls are brightening up. s 6 « M R. TALMAGE says that the modern newspaper is “ a pub- lic sewer, through which flows a great deal of matter which had best be kept under grougd.”” When one recollects how many of Mr. Talmage’s sermons have been published, this does not seem to be exaggeration. * e . R. JOHN L. SULLIVAN is now worth $50,000. Boston genius is beginning to be appreciated, es 8 6 Jt is evident that there is something wrong with the masonry of the Brooklyn bridge. The grip won't work. * 8 8 “cc ARWOOD, the English hangman just dead, never failed."—Boston Post. Neverfailed, eh? Well, per- haps he didn’t, but wasn’t he connected with the suspension of a good many others? comicbooks.com ,