Life — September 13, 1883 — page 12: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

130 and unloading stock upon them has acquired four times as much money as was originally ” possessed by VAN Bruyng, while the latter gentleman's substance, by an unfortunately unsuccessful attempt to hold up the wrong ° side of a Western pork market, and by the natural drainage incident to an English son- in-law, a steam yacht and other aristocratic accoutrements, has oozed away until now less than an eighth of its original bulk remains. In the meantine, by beautiful degrees, DE. sMYTH’S fortune has ebbed through the usual Wall Street channel, he having affectionately endeavored to make pin-moncy for Mrs. DE- SMYTH by acting on a “ pointer” in oil con- fided to him one day in strict secrecy by the grovelling but intelligent Hiccins, who hap- pened just by chance to be RoBINSON’s broker. Now to lack money is worse than unaristo- cratic ; it is exceedingly bad form. Time and tide and an English son-in-law and a steam yacht wait for no man, and Mr. VAN Bruyne’s bank account shows an abysmal void. The ‘‘season” is approaching, and with it his British son-in-law’s father’s second wife's consin’s stepmother’s uncle, the haughty and powerful Eart or GAMMON, who is com- ing across the pond to see his dear sister's step- daughter's cousin's stepson’s father-in-law, be {éted by the First Circle of New York Society for a brief year or two, and recupe- rate {rom a recent heavy loss incurred by having incautiously backed the wrong horses at both the GRAND Prix and the Dexsy. To further this latter end he will bring with him his neice, the Lady GLADIOLA VIOLET PLAN- TAGENET GWENDOLYN BEAUCHAMP, and his son, Lord Launcetot Sr. JOHN HERBERT Gorpon FitzuucH Garnetr CHOLMON- DELY ARCHIBALD GEOFFREY LANCASTER- Tomkins, Of course this addition of three persons to the VAN Bruyne household is intrinsically a cypher, but the fact that a rea) Earl, a genuine Lady and an indisputable Lord, British at that, are coming, catails a swelling of expense which would be ruinous even in prosperity. But Mr. VAN BRruyNeE does not quaver. No member of the First Circle of New York Society can quaver where money is concerned. He is grandly rolled to the office of the opulent but “ Third Circle” Rosinson, who humbly receives him. He grandly states his gracious willingness to sign his illustrious name toa note for $200,000, with a mortgage on some weak-kneed rail- road stock as collateral. ROBINSON feels like resenting the bewildering impudence by a kick down stairs, but that he here sees a by if it AUT CIRCUM AUT PANEM. Uncle Reuben : Now, WENUS, YO’ KNOW DE ARGYMENT: YO' CAWN’T GO TER DAT DISREPTABLE SUKKUS 'N HAB DAT NEW GOWN, TOO. SO TEK YO’ MONEY AN’ HAB YO’ CHOICE. J 'VISES DE GOWN.” Aunt Venus: Wau, RuBE, I GUESS DIS YER OLE GOWN 'LL HEV TER DRAGGLE A WHILE LONGER. Now, dat's 'CONOMY, HAINT HIT? chance to become at least a Second Circler. So he joyously writes a cheque, bidding Mr. VAN Bruyne take his own time about the mortgage—note—everything. Mr, VAN Bruyne grandly accepts the cheque, nonchalantly tosses it to his obsequious banker, and rolls home again to cable an elaborate note of welcome to his noble friend the Earl, who accordingly secures a pass and comes over on the next steamer. Meanwhile, through some occult channel, the astounding news reaches VER MEHR St. Joun, the Second Circler, that VAN Bruyne, the First Circler, has actually had a tremendous business transaction with RoBINsON, the Third Circler. Immediately then, Mrs. St. JOHN calls upon Mrs. Robinson, who has tact enough to accept the insult- ingly displayed condescension without a murmur. VER MEHR ST. JOHN proposes comicbooks.com