Life — August 2, 1883 — page 14: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

A FENIAN RAM. R. PATRICK MULCAHEY made a moming call upon the Widow O'Flaherty at her castle on the rocks in the upper part of this city. He was attired in his best, and the preliminaries of politeness between the distinguished guest and the superb chafelaine were all that the occasion could call for. “‘Tkem to ax yez,” then remarked the Mulcahey, ‘‘ phwat ye're willin’ to do for the cause this mornin’.” “* Phwat cause is that, now, Misther Mulcahey 2” “*An' phwat should it be, mim, but the cause av ould Oire- land.” “Sure an’ I'm gittin toired, sor. Manny's the dime, an’ manny ’s the dollar I've paid in till the cause; but still they do be shootin’ an’ hangin’ the byes, an’ the bloodhy Saxin gits fat on the best blood av ould Oireland.” “It won't be fur long now, Misthress O'Flaherty, raisin’ a fund to pay fur a ram,” “A ram, isit? An’ phwat wud yez be doin’ wid a ram?” “Aram, Misthress O'Flaherty, wud butt the shtuffin’ out av the biggest ironclad that iver floated, an’ sink the British navy quicker’n a thirsty man wud takea drink, an’ shwape the bloodhy Saxin from the says.” “It's a quare notion intoirely, sor. shwim in the say?” “In the say, an’ over the say, an’ undher the say, Misthress O'Flaberty. An’ thin, mim, it's so aisy to kape whin wance we git it. Only a coal oil can, as I may say.” “Thrue fur yez, Mr. Mulcahey. Or a tematy can, or anny other kind av a can, wid a few yards av thayater bills fur lunch.” ** Phwat will yez give, thin, Misthress O'Flaherty ?” “Tf it’s a ram will do the wurruk, sor, I'll take the whole ix- pinse on mesilf.” “The whole ixpinse? mim?” We're Is it a ram that wud Do yez know phwat ye're sayin’, und vighbin his tin the yar ht he sawsof masked laps a score. nd of course got 2 Merri ble fright. “Throth an’ I do, sor. I'll give the last bit av propherty I 've got to the cause av ould Oireland. I 'll give yez Teddy, me own billygoat, the pride av Shantytown, an’ I pity the Saxin that wud shtand fornenst him. Look at him, sor, as he climbs the rocks! By the same token, Misther Mulcahey, ye 'd better shlip quietly dune the back way, as Teddy has set his two eyes on yez, an’ he'd butt the last board off the shanty but phwat he 'd git at yez.” As Mr. Mulcahey tumbled down the cliff, the fair chatelaine consoled him with a promise to keep the ram until he should call for it. THE TWO SISTERS. I, Down in the lilacs one spring day I found Miss Nell, and with her The mischief Maud—they, in mad sport, Chased butterflies together. Il. I caught a glorious yellow one, And begged a kiss in payment. The little witch refused point-blank, And laughed at my dismayment. Ill. Green envy stung me to the quick ; I quickly caught and kissed her. —'Twas very pleasant, but, I own, I'd rather kiss her sister.