Life — May 24, 1883 — page 13: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Wa’ OVERDONE. A RIDE OF A COUPLE OF HOURS ON A HARD PULLER, IN A CLOSE, DAMP SCHOOL RING, ROUND AND ROUND; THIS FOLLOWED BY A HOT BATH; THIS IN TURN FOLLOWED BY A HOT AND RATHER HEAVY SUPPER; THEN TO BED. RESULT, THE ABOVE PLEASANT NIGHTMARE, THE KING OF THE NUMSKULLS. ‘THE King of Numskull Land was one of the wisest of monarchs. The Numskulls had been in the habit of sending their grain tothe Land of Nod, receiving in exchange therefor shoes, wagons, and farming tools. The men who made shoes in Num- skull Land told the King that they were being ruined by cheap foreign labor. So the good King put a heavy tax on all foreign shoes and leather. Then the shoemakers of Numskull Land waxed rich ; but those who worked for them were not able to buy the shoes they made. It was thought to be a shame that Numskull Land should not manufacture its own wagons ; so the good King put a heavy tax on foreign-wagons, and the materials of which wagons were made. Then the men who made wagons grew rich, and a good part of the grain of the farmers went to pay for getting it to market. To further protect the infant industries of Numskull Land, the good King put a heavy tax on foreign farmers’ tools. Then the manufacturers of farmers’ tools waxed rich, and the farmers mortgaged their farms to pay for implements to work them. The King had been made to believe that these taxes would cause his treasury to overflow with coin ; but it happened that no shoes or wagons or tools came from the Land of Nod to be taxed, and his account of cash showed an alarming scarcity of ducats, He could still tax the people, and he proceeded todo so. But his tax collectors came back empty-handed, saying that the people had given all they had to the men who made shoes and wagons and tools, and had nothing with which to pay the tax. Though the King had little money, he wanted a carriage, but the price astonished him when he ordered one. ‘I used to get a better carriage,” he said, “ for less than half the money in the Land of Nod.” ‘True, O King,” replied the manufacturer of wagons, “but to the cost of manufacturing and our regular profit we must add the tax, and interest on the tax, and commis- sion on the tax, and rattage on the tax, and allthat. But you have the satisfaction of knowing that you are protecting our in- fant industries.” ‘‘ That is a great consolation,” said the King, “and I will gladly go afoot ; but I must get some new boots.” When he was measured for a pair of boots, he was astonished at the price, “I used to get them for a third of themoney in the Land of Nod,” said he. ‘ True, O King,” replied the shoemaker, “but you must pay an extra price for the privilege of. protecting our infant industries,” ‘‘ That is rather hard,” said the King ; * but I will gladly go barefoot for the sake of protecting those ‘infant industries.” Then a strange thing happened. The makers of shoes and wagons and tools had great stocks of goods on hand, and they began to go into bankruptcy. ‘Great King,” they said, “we are suffering from over-production, a politico-economical disease for which we are not responsible. "Your people are unable to buy our goods, because we are not fully protected. Give us more protection, or the infant industries must collapse.” “It seems to me,” replied the good King, as he scratched his head, “that there is some mistake here. The people are poor, and I am poor, and you are the only ones who have made any profit by this protection, and now even you are getting poor. The infant industries have had a good chance to grow, at the expense of the rest of us, and they ought to be big enough to go alone. So I shall throw open the gate and let them toddle.” comicbooks.com