Life — May 17, 1883 — page 11: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

LEAVES FROM THE DIARY OF AN UNDER- GRADUATE. APRIL 7TH. FPATHER writes that he is glad Iam keep- ingadiary. Hesaysitisa valuable habit, and good practice in writing. Tam to bring it home vacations and show it to him that he may sce what reflections are suggested to me by the studies of the college course, etc Afem,—1 must brace on reflections, To-day Watson tells me another painful rumor is in circulation about Hig- ginson, It is said that his watch has come back. It is a pewter bullseye, about the size of a warming-pan, and with several coats, like He can do all sorts of tricks with it. He can strip off an onion. the outer peels and throw the nucleus around the room withont hurting it. He can touch it off in some way, with a buzz, and it will do the twenty-four hours inside a minute. It was always at the blacksmith’s, however—no watchmaker would touch it—being repaired ; and Watson says it cost Higginson more to keep it than it would to keep a horse. Fellows that H. owed money to were relieved to hear that he lost it at Forepaugh'’s menagerie last week. But it seems that he advertised it, and it was returned by a heavy man with a large foot, who had trodden on it before pick- ing it up. It was quite flat when brought back, but Higginson paid the man a liberal reward, and is having it hammered back into shape, APRIL IOTH. To-day being Saturday, I was going to attend a cocking-main given by Hudson in the attic of North College, but it failed to come off, Hudson had bought four birds from Epaphroditus, the negro costermonger—the same one who was hired for five dollars by some of the fellows in Sophomore year to have an epileptic fit in the gallery of Music Hall during a temperance lecture, and was carried out howling and foaming at the mouth. The birds were secured two days in advance, and were put in Hudson's coal- closet ; where, in the words of Daniel Pratt, “The light of day Shines but seldom, or not at all, On the course of the awful water-fall.” It was feared that the dark might impair their gameness, and so they were removed to the garret yesterday afternoon. But one of them, which was thin, squeezed out of the coop, and appeared this morning at the attic window, where it crowed repeatedly and attracted the notice of the authorities, who confiscated the whole plant. APRIL 13TH. Forensic disputations this morning. A good grind on Feather- stone! He had furnished a forensic to Rosenberg, whose inven- tion is not fertile, when Rosy meekly read it through with that sweet Pennsylvania accent which secured him in Freshman year the nick-name ‘* White-ammed Nausicaa,” the affable Professor of Belles Lettres remarked, ‘You didn't pay much for that, did you? APRIL ISTH, Linonia prize debate this evening. I went in to hear Watson speak his litle piece. He had read parts of it to me beforehand, and I told him he was cock-sure of first prize. The question was ‘Are penal colonies justifiable?’ and there were some very > LIFE: 237 lusctous passages in Watson's speech, in which he called Botany Bay a loathsome plague spot, a cesspool, a seething caldron of vice and a mass of festering corruption, He took only a third prize, but the fellows, most of them, thought he ought to have had the first, His languaye was certainly very strong. Yesterday morning Watson was rehearsing his piece in his room. In the midst of a beautiful description of Russian convicts passing through the Ural mountains, one of his gestures upset the water-pan on the stove and spilled its contents over the feet of his chum, Dempster, who was smoking near by. The latter has since remained ia his room, with bandaged feet, and Watson carries his meals to him from the club. I was telling Higginson about the accident this a.M., but he smiled knowingly and said : “Do you really imagine that the water was hot ? I have sat on Watson's stove half an hour at a time without singeing my pant- aloons, and watched the low spirited thermometer in the corner trying to climb up to 65°. No; Dempster’s feet are not scalded. It is all a ruse to get up a reputation for the stove, which they are trying to sell. Observe the ostentatious manner in which Watson carries the meals. It is done to provoke enquiry.” I told Watson this afternoon what Higginson had said, and he answered : ** Higginson is embittered by my exposure of his watch and his bad hats, and is, therefore, not to be trusted. If you doubt me, come and sit on the stove yourself.” APRIL 18TH. The financial panic in the class has passed its crisis, Last term the little busy B. compiled an.‘*Index to the Literary Mag- azine,” which he foisted upon a reluctant public at fifty cents a copy, exactin; payzeat in advance of publication, Pending the appearance of this valuable guide to the treasures of genius buried in the ** Lit,” each subscriber received a ticket entitling the holder to one copy of the ‘* Index" as soon as it should be issued, These choses in action, being negotiable, got into circulation in the class, and were used in the payment of debts and otherwise. They be- gan to depreciate rapidly, and were finally bought up by one speculator, and employed as poker chips by the gamblers of South Col- lege, being redeemed at eleven cents apiece, or 22 per cent. on their face value. The “Courant” now asserts that B. is trying to bull the market by threatening to issue a limited edition of the “ Index,” and retain five hundred copies for his own use. APRIL 23RD. Spring vacation to-morrow. Have been packing my trunk all the afternoon, think, on the whole, I won't take this diary home, but will give Father my reflections on the studies of the term, etc., orally. comicbooks.com