Life — March 29, 1883 — page 3: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

ee MARCH 29, 1883. 1155 Broapway, New York. Published every Thursday, $5 a year in advance, postage free. Single copies, 10 cents. [BH Subscribers who do not receive their copies will please nolify the office at once. Attempted Assassination ! FIENDISH ATTEMPT ON THE LIFE OF HER MAJESTY THE QUEEN. She Slips on Soap Secretly Set by Irish Servants on the Staircase—Prompt action of Sir Garnet Wolseley —England in Arms—Arrest of Irish Suspects—Lady Dixie's Theory. ‘By special cable to Lirr.) Lonnon, March 2oth, 2:43 P.M.—It is reported that 20 minutes ago Her Majesty the Queen fell down the back stairs of her apartment in the 6th story of the Windsor Flats. The excitement is intense. 3:21 P.M.—The horrible rumor is confirmed. It is now ascertained that the hired girl left a piece of brown soap on the landing, after scrubbing the stairs. In an interview with a Lire correspondent Lady Flo- rence Dixie said she considered the outrage premedi- tated, as her Majesty was known to have been in the habit of slipping down the back way to dodge Mr. Gladstone when he called. Mr. G. was in the parlor at the time, and rushed out when he heard the earth- quake, but was waved away by John Brown, who was already on the scene. The excitement is tremendous. Laborers are knocking off work, and Parliament is called to special session. ‘The Corps of Royal Physi- cians and the Royal College of Surgeons have been summoned by District Telegraph, and Sir Garnet Wolse- ley is massing the troops in Trafalgar Square. 3:50 P.M.—Five-minute bulletins are being issued, signed by the Royal Physician in Charge, and by 713 of the Corps already on the ground. They express faint hope. ‘The excitement is intense. 3:55 P.M.—The police have arrested the hired girl and 1127 suspects. An elderly man, who gave his name as Punnle or Parnel, was seen in Hyde Park stealthily secreting a cake of soap, marked “ Brown Windsor,” in his coat-tail pocket. This may im- plicate John Brown of Windsor. Parnell was arrested on suspicion. The excitement is intense. 4:11:44 P.M.—A bulletin has just announced the di- agnosis. The gastrocnemius muscle has been tied up in a hard knot with the quadriceps extensor cruris, in- volving the saphenous veins and the popliteal nerve, slitting the synovial membrane, and ripping the lid off the astralagus. One half the Surgical Corps expressed the belief that if the other half was relieved from at- tendance on the case, Her Majesty might recover. The other half hold a similar opinion. The excitement is intense. 4103 additional physicians have arrived, and others have been telegraphed for. 6:10 p.M.—The soap theory of Lady Florence Dixie has been disproved. A thorough search by the police failed to discover a cake of that material on the pre- mises, and Prof. Tyndal has just concluded a chemical analysis of the staircase, which shows that no soap had ever been used upon it. The hired girl and the sus- pects are still in custody, however. The excitement: continues to increase. 6:35 p.M.—Physicians continue to arrive, Parnell has been discharged, the only evidence against him being that he was a chronic Irishman, and hence the presence of soap in his vicinity was most unusual and suspicious. He proved, however, that he had pur- chased it to hang over his door and scare off members of the Land League. Sir Francis Dilke and Earl Har- court are in consultation. The excitement is tremen- dous. Dispatches are being received from all the crowned heads in Europe, asking for news. 7:41 Pp. M.—Another batch of doctors just come. The Zimes in an extra says: “ We are in the presence of another awful act of Irish retaliation. A cake of soap was found this evening in this office, with a clean towel attached. It was promptly removed with a pair of tongs.” Mr. Gladstone is addressing the House. The excitement is beyond description, 8:05 p.M.—Dr. Marion Sims, who has been sum- moned, says that unless hydrophobia, mumps, malaria, gastritis, or sub-acute-cerebo-spinal-meningitis super- vene, or death from other causes follows, there is hope. This has allayed public anxiety somewhat, but the ex- citement is still unabated. 8:23 Pp. M.—Sir Garnet Wolseley has just ordered shelter tents and sandwiches to be distributed to the troops in Trafalgar Square. He does not think the danger imminent, but he directed the cannon to be loaded with spelling books and soap, ready for an Irish uprising. ‘The excitement has assumed terrible proportions, comicbooks.com