Life — March 22, 1883 — page 12: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

BIOGRAPHETTES. MARK TWAIN, and HE renowned archaxologist, poct and astronomer, whose por- trait appears above, is a lineal descendant of the celebrat- ed Twain who were made one flesh, He was born on Ply- mouth Rock, April st, 1728, on a remarkably cold morning, and the administratrix of the camphor and red-flannel department af- terward stated that he was the most remarkable baby she had ever scen. At the early age of seven, Mark—for so he was cruelly christened—was already addicted to science, and his dis- covery, made one year later, that a spring clothes-pin artistically applied to the continuation of a cat would create in that somno- lent animal a desire for vigorous foreign travel, is still used by the aborigines of Connecticut and Massachusetts. When he was 19, Mark went through college. He entered the front door, tur- ntined the rector’s favorite cat, and graduated the same even- ing over the fence. He then started for California, Milwaukee and other remote confines of the earth, and began those remark- able series of truthful anecdotes for which he is now so justly famed. As an archxologist, however, he has won most renown, and his collection of Pompeiian, Sanscrit, Egyptian and early Greek jokes, now in possession of Osgood & Co., of Boston, is considered the most complete inthe world. Some envious critics have claimed that most of these were painfully carved by Mark himself, and the balance composed of heterogeneous and un- related parts, but there seems to be no reasorable doubt that they are all genuine antiques, C Personally, Mr. Twain is a remarkably well preserved man. He isshort, florid and very corpulent, laughs incessantly, and is a rapid and brilliant speaker. His essay on ‘‘ Draw-Poker in American politics” is considered to be a masterly treatise on political economy, while his poem entitled, ‘* The Frog Bowed wn by Weight of Shot will hold its place as one of the most pathetic in the language. DAVID DAVIS. HIS famous humorist is descended from Welsh ancestors, and his great-great-grandmother's uncle's stepson’s thi cousin by marriage is said to have been related to the or Welsh Rabbitt, descendants of whom can be found in the first families of this city. Dave was born at an early age in Cecil County, Maryland, March gth, 1815, and weighed nine pounds three ounces. He now weighs 413 pounds, and hasn't seen his feet since the winter of '4g or the spring of 's0. He began life humbly as centre-field in a base-ball nine, gradually worked up to the proud position of short-stop, and’ distinguished himself and grew fat, in such a manner as to already foreshadow his sub- sequent greatness. He then became a law student and learned to chew tobacco. In 1835 he applied to Horace Greeley for ad- vice, as to whether he should become editor of the 7ridune or go West, and Mr. Greeley told him to go West, which he did, setting in Bloomington, Ininois, where he attends prayer meet- ing and pays taxes to the present day. ‘ersonally, Mr. Davis is of a slender build, is very active, rather nervous in his movements, and warm and impulsive in his nature, and his spirituelle face is often lighted by a genial, merry and contagious smile. - As a Serator he made Congress tremble, and his arguments carried weight that nothing could resist. As a Vice- President, he was thoughtful and considerate, and his harshest means of preserving order was to take the offending member to the chair and sit on him. The member never spoke again. Re- turning to the walks of private life, Mr. Davis leaves a6x9 place in the legislative halls of the nation, which it will be hard to fil, AGRICULTURAL PursuiT.—Chasing after a runaway Pig. comicbooks.com