Judge — May 4, 1929 — page 23: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

A One week ago my doctor snatched his pince-nez from his nose. With his right hand he tapped them on the thumbnail of his left hand. “You need a bath,” “What ho!” I said. “What ho—a sulphur bath!" he explained. * * © © © © © «© he said. So—here | am in White Sul- phur Springs. I've had m going to rave The hotel was booked solid when I arrived, but when they found that Judge, Jr., was no-endir their midst they quartered me in Consuelo Vander- bilt’s room. She left a bit of lipstick, when I leave I shall scribble a note of thanks to her on the wall. First—the in this y bath and now Tm people town . Mrs. Vander- bilt—the moment I saw her she waved and I ved. She ved at her chauffeur and I waved at a bell- hop. Jaywalking across the lobby, I was very near- ly run over by Walter Chrysler. Dancing in the Tudor Room, I stepped on the toc of the daughter of the late John W, Gates. She spoke to me warmly. During a fire I be -d with Colonel Henry B ack Mason, of Green- wich. The all of the For instance, I was late the ballroom one evening. The place darkness, I made for the nearest s in the lap of a world-famous dowager. comfortable and hated to move. The younger set here are a snappy crowd. They play every minute. I stepped out of the hotel one morning to see a pretty girl jump on a horse canter into the mountains. ‘Two hours later my foursome on the golf course was beckoned through a twosome. One of the twosome was the girl I saw on the horse. After lunch I sat in the wn and watched the tennis. On number one tically other. was in inky and sat down I was very rquee court I WuNcR’s DocTer AAW! The saw the same girl leaping all over the place. At tea in the Casino she danced every dance. Just before dinner [ saw her shaking a two-quart receptacle. At dinner in the Tudor Grill she went strenuously collegiate in her dancing, and after demi-tasse I overheard her trying to beibe the orchestra to linger another hour. As I arose from the table to leave, I thought I heard my bones creak. is a club off in the hills where one may play roulette, ard, bird-cage, ete., if one wants to. This one didn’t want to, I watched the } Too many uncovered numbers showed all too frequently to rouse the chancing fancies pent up within me. I brought Tomato, my Jap man, alo He is chauffeuring and caddying for me, as well as guard- ing my collar button, “I missed him at dressing time last evening. I found him two suites away in a heated argument with another Jap man. The ar- gument being that Tomato had said his could beat the other man’s master “chasing ball.” There was a misunderstanding, however. ‘Tomato was arguing golf and the other Jap man was argu- ing tennis. Now I must drink a glass of hot sulphur water. Then I shall drink a glass of cold sulphur water. In an hour I must take a hot sulphur bath. After I shall get myself caked with sulphur mud. ren T shall light « cigarette with a sulphur match and go to bed. master NT LIVED IF You NEVER HAD A HOT SULPHUR MUD BATH! comicbooks.com