Judge — March 16, 1929 — page 34: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

ie Nn inn I ut lh ny § Premnrn—I should ‘ave a noo tap on ere at once, mum, else I shall come up one day and find yer sayin’ to yerse ‘ell didn't I 'ave this dam job done properly while I Business First The old gentleman had wan- dered into a big ent Street store, and in a ment Was sure rounded by shop-walkers. “What is your pleasure, sir?” they asked in unison. The old gentleman was rather embarrassed. r—er—well, my pleasure is fish he replied, hesitatingly, “but I—er—rather wanted a new hat.” —Trt-Bits Vice Versa Let us extract a tear from you For Chimneysweeper Tin; Mas, the poor lad swept the flue Until the ‘fla swept him. Desitw~ Opinion Angry Customer—I say, that horse you sold me has dropped down dead. Dealer—Can't ‘elp that, sir. never did that while I im. Answers matter with you, “Why the at itl” Tatien Inxious Mothe: Vhat’s the Her Son—Fy What terrible grammar!” Answers Antist—I thought T had one or you are not o} To Any Barber No, just a haircut. Nothing more. Yes, I suppose my scalp is dry. I know. You told me that before. (Remember: leave the side bits high.) You say my hair is falling out Although [ haven't reached my prime? Yes, that would help beyond a doubt, But honestly I haven't time, My pores are clogged? (Some off the top.) I never could > them be- have. Some lotion on? Well, just’ a drop, But never mind a singe or shave You needn't give me : (I think we're g som in.) It’s really awfully kind of you, But now I've got to catch a train. —Loxpvox Orixion shampoo. to get “Thankful? What have I got to be thankful for? I can't even pay my bills.” “Why, man, be thankful that > of your creditors.” —Montrear Star Mr. Richman—How do yor like this place? Shall we buy it? His Wife—Oh, it’s pertectly lovely! The view from this bai cony is so fine that it leaves ime “Then we'll buy it.” —Avswens 0 rather good plumber jokes in my portfolio, but I’m afraid I'll have to go back and get them. —Hemonist comicbooks.com