Judge — January 19, 1929 — page 22: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

JUDGE How it feels opening an account and The Movie Market » to take in a rson after din- ner, “1 can briefly describe to you what the town offers. First, we have the Mammoth Cinema. Four thousand seats. Attendants uni- formed like Field Marshals in the Imperial German Army. No parking space within half a mile Goldfish and = gilded Venus de Milos in lobby. Hundred-piece orchestra with acrobatic come- dian conducting. News reel with sound, showing Boston Water front Fire at Ten Below Zero, Japanese Steamer on Rocks off Californ Mrs. Coolidge Wel coming Girl Scouts at White House and Maternal Police Dog in Wichita, Kansas, Mothering Brood of Sparrows. Gypsy Stage Scene with music by Victor Her- bert. The Ten Dancing Gold- berg Girls. Feature Film show- ing Triumph of Virtue, acted by former chorus girl with fourteen- t lamps and masculine breast- er with permanent wave. Organ recital by % organist. “Or, if you'd like something more Mental,” continued Pear- son, “we have the Intellectug Movie House. Coffee and cigs rettes in the lobby. Girl ushers ithdrawing the same, wearing velvet trousers and tams. Mod vars in rear of orchestr: nistic furniture and samo- Three piece string ensemble. Short reel entitled ‘Dance of the Machine >, showing platters and spoons bouncing against a dark velvet background. Colored travelogue of Southern Alsace, photographed by Pathé in nineteen twelve. Five minutes of screen wise- cracks by the management. Two months-old news reel. Feature picture photographed in’ Russia, showing triumph of Vodka. Portly dowager playing rdle of vet- headstrong young Whiskers, wolves and yy. Droshkies, drunks and desperadocs. Maniacs, matricide and malnutrition. Tears, tuber- culosis and travail. Overture by Grieg, with one violin out of tune Paune! “Or, if you still haven't: made up your mind,” added Pearson, “we have an old-fashioned fifteen- cent admission house. Down by the docks in the factory district. No atmosphere. No ventilation Tin-panny piano. Custard Pie comedies. Western thrillers. Old Tom Mix resurrections. — Rin- Tin-Tin revivals. Bill) Hart’ in his heyday. ics of the Great Open Spaces taken out of the Film Storchouses. Chewing gum on seats. Wailing babies—" “Enough,” I said; “in fact, plenty. “Phone over to the Gar- ticlds we'll play a rubber of bridge. —Artuvr L. Lirpaans What New Yorkers will expect in the subway for a seven- cent fare. comicbooks.com