Judge, 1929-01-12 · page 29 of 36
Judge — January 12, 1929 — page 29: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains two distinct elements: ## Left Column: "The Origin of the Slot Machine" A humorous fictional origin story about "Vernon Slot" inventing the slot machine. The narrative describes Vernon creating machines that malfunctioned spectacularly—dispensing buttons and police summonses instead of gum—angering the public. He's jailed, reforms his design, and his invention eventually gains acceptance. This is satirical commentary on new technology adoption: society initially distrusts innovations, but they eventually become normalized. The joke culminates in suggesting future slot machines might dispense medical procedures. ## Right: Melachrino Cigarettes Advertisement A commercial cartoon showing a gentleman ordering a Rolls-Royce. When he smokes Melachrino cigarettes, the salesman waives the deposit requirement—the cigarette brand apparently confers such status and creditworthiness that financial assurance becomes unnecessary. It's aspirational advertising using class signaling: smoking these cigarettes elevates one's social standing. The page demonstrates Judge's mix of satirical commentary and advertising content.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
The Origin of the Slot | Machine (Continued from page 7) anyway. “What they don't gnaw won't hurt them,” thought Ver- non viciously. But the public anger, incited by this outrage, rose ire and ire. The enraged patrons not only called the boxes “wonder machines” be- y into them h— noth me out, but they also called the At the end of the see ond w Vernon collected five hundred odd buttons (all differ- ent), one hundred and eighty-four tickets from cops along the dif- ferent beats, and summons. “Summons after me,” he mut tered, and lit out for the Malay peninsu He was apprehended, how- ever, and thrown into jail for a year. While there Vernon turned | over a new und made plans for some new machines that would \y dispense the gum, and he also. created the slogan, “I've Gummed the Works; Now You Work the Gums.” But in spite of this it was a long time before the public confidence was restored. This is known in history as the Restoration period. Vernon Slot has long since de- parted, but his invention remains to serve the public, and it serves the public right if they put any money into the slots. Modern slot machines dispense everything except rum, and even if a ma- chine big enough for this purpose is ever made there simply won't be any rum for it. What with the march of science and all, it is not unreasonable to suppose that slot machines of the future will even | dispense tonsils, adenoid pendix operations, and m things related te Some of Slot’s chines are still in existence, if you happen to run across a achine that doesn't work ay be sure that this is a > antique and if nobody's looking I'd be much obliged if you'd send it to me for my collec tion which includes an old Rolls Royce and ei r blade stroppers. I amond rings and ten dollar bills i have any you can spare. cause they put mor and wondered why ing ¢ actual and ap- other A man charged with murder in America was adjudged insane. The reason for this, I understand, was that he didn’t plead insanity. —Passixa Suow © Uo rosacco co. Gentleman (ordering Rolls-Royce): “I suppose you want a deposi STRAW Tips, | Salesman (seeing Melachrino): “Oh, that’s all right, sir. You smoke CORK Tips, Melachrinos! I'll be glad to take your order without a deposit.” PLAIN Ends THE ONE CIGARETTE SMOKED THE WORLD OVER comicbooks.com