Judge — December 22, 1928 — page 24: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

JUDGE WHAT LOVELY EYES THAT DAME HAS / THOUGHT THE BIG-TIME CLICK MAN Try one of Perelman’s delicious special sandwiches, folks, hooey on rye or white th chopped nuts and hokum filling. “So you sent two bucks for that appliance guaranteed to keep your electricity bills down? What was it?” asked Waffle. weight!” snapped Snaffle in disgust. “Happy Times § used to call him at the mill, At Last, the Perfect Radio Tubes Public dancing in the streets greeted the first appearance to- day of the Little Beauty All Around Radio Tube and Mother's Helper. It would take too long to recount here all of the won- derful qualities possessed by this ingenious contrivance, but a few will give you a general idea. If a radio announcer says “ey ther” the Little Beauty corrects the pronunciation and feeds “eether” to the loudsy After “The Road to Mandalay has been rendered three times on any given evening, the Little Beauty refuses to pick it up thereafter. This more than hu- man bit of glass and rubber auto- matically eliminates poor wise- cracks. Let an announcer say: “Here's a laugh, folks, Next though it is now 8 P. M., the Klein Cream Puff Syncopators will play ‘At Dawning.’ Ha, ha.” The sensitive Little Beauty hears this and shudders run through its grid and plate. Its delicate ions tremble and_ its socket reddens with exasperation. It functions and this is what you hear: “The next number will be ‘At Dawning’ played by the Klein Cream Puff Syncopators.” 1 paper- ” they But its greatest merit, its un- precedented perfection is yet to be mentioned. You have, let us assume, come home from the of- fice prepared for a quiet evening A BEY 2 he nes with your favorite pipe and a good book. Your wife is com- placently knitting across the table from you. All is peaceful. The cat purrs and you catch yourself napping. Suddenly the bell rings. Mr. and Mrs. r- field drop in “just for a mo- ment.” The leaden minutes pass. Your hints perish in the air. They won't go home. Your Little Beauty Radio Tube peeps out of the cabinet and sees this. Mustering all its strength, it takes a deep breath and loudly shouts through the horn: “IT IS WELL PAST MID- NIGHT AND WE ARE SIGN- ING OFF EIGHT ALM. NIGHT, EVERYBODY!" The Garfields look horrified, mutter apologies and scamper for home. You look at your watch and a. smile ads. o'er your face as y e the shrewd- ness of the Little Beauty, for it is only quarter to ten, You pick up your book and light your pipe. The evening is not lost. Get yours—at your dealer— today —Artuer L. Lippmann “Prohibition never meant anything to that bird.” “Why not?” “He thinks hiskey is a soft drink.” comicbooks.com